The Eagles Signed Asante Samuel?

Really? Hmm. I guess that means Lito Sheppard is on his way out. That, or the Eagles are planning on having the best nickelback in the league. If they trade Lito, here's hoping it's for a top of the line receiver. No offense, Mr. Curtis.

Just like the Eagles to try and steal some of the Phillies' thunder. While I'm pleased with the signing, it can't change the fact that baseball is coming.

Only 30 days till Opening Day.

Jeff Garcia Does It Again

For the third time in his career, Jeff Garcia led his team past the Giants in the playoffs, outplaying Eli Manning en route to an easy victory for the Bucs. This of course will validate the opinion of many in Philadelphia that Eagles should have resigned the 37 year old quarterback despite having a younger, more talented QB on their roster. Yes, after watching his virtuoso performance today in Florida, one has to wonder why the Eagles didn't resign Garcia. Good luck in Dallas next week Jeff.

This Just In: Donovan McNabb Is Still Good

I don't care if the Saints have a terrible secondary. I don't care if that final TD was a result of mind-boggling play calling. Donny can still play. Fuck all you haters. Yes, Angelo Cataldi, I AM looking at you. Blowhard.

To everyone else, Merry Christmas. That's right, I said it. Merry fucking Christmas. Hanukkah is over, and really, does anyone even know what Kwanzaa is? Kwanzaabot has been handing out that book for over 600 years. If you do know what it is, and you celebrate it, Happy Kwanzaa.

I'll be taking a few days off from this, unless something really awesome or noteworthy happens. Enjoy the holiday(s).

Well Done Fellas

You beat the Cowboys. That's always nice. Now do us all a favor and lose the next two games. We need the highest possible draft pick. Don't do anything crazy like go and make the playoffs. No one needs that.

Anyway, there have got to be a lot of pissed off fantasy football players today, and not just because Westbrook took a knee at the 1 yard line instead of scoring a TD. At least he put up 140 total yards before that. Needed 5 points from Tom Brady or Tony Romo? Sorry. Needed 8 From Randy Moss? Tough shit. Needed 4 from T.O. Oops. Got stuck playing against Aaron Stecker? Damn. But hey, this happens every year. Once you get to the playoffs, it's a new game. Kinda like real football, though the similarities end there.

Anyway, I'm not crazy enough to think the Eagles' season isn't over, even if, mathematically, it isn't. But beating Dallas in Dallas in a meaningful game always makes me smile.

T.O. or Randy? The Debate Ends Here

Yeah, I know this blog hasn't been updated in almost a week. Sorry. I been busy. Zwill might be dead. It won't happen again. Unless it does. Anyway, moving on. Before I get into the crux of this post - who is a better player, T.O. or Randy Moss - I'd just like to add a couple things about the Birds game.

Um, they stink. I'm not sure the Eagles have ever been this mediocre in my life - they've been better, and they've been worse. The play calling stinks, the execution outside of Westbrook leaves a lot to be desired, and the receivers just aren't good enough to make defenses worry about anyone other than Westbrook. The reason this offense was so fearsome in 2004 wasn't just a healthy McNabb and a superb Westbrook. It had a lot to do with a certain closeted homosexual that was really good at catching footballs.

They had their big 3 and they barely lost to a Patriots team that slightly outplayed them and more than slightly outcoached them, but that's another article I may or may not write. The point is, despite being one or two lucky breaks from the Lobardi Trophy, the Eagles' brass, T.O. and Drew Rosenhaus all came together to ruin a beautiful situation that would have kept the Eagles as Super Bowl contenders for years to come. Instead, the hated player is playing for the hated team and anyone who thinks the Eagles are better off without him is a douchebag idiot. Ditto for anyone who thinks Randy Moss was a risk when all you had to give up was a 4th round pick. Anyway, onto the comparison.

You have to choose one for a whole season. Both of these guys are motivated. Every other player on the team remains constant. Who you pickin', T.O. or Randy?

or

Tagline:
Owens: "Jeff Garica (read: Terrell Owens) ain't straight, homey."
Moss: "Straight cash, Homey."
Edge: Moss, by a lot.

Physical Stats:
Owens: 6'3", 224 lbs, really fucking strong, pretty damn fast, decent leaper, above average hands, but drops a lot of passes
Moss: 6'4, 210 lbs, strong enough, really fucking fast, great leaper, fantastic hands
Edge: Moss, slightly, because he almost never drops a pass and T.O. rarely makes you go "Holyfuckingshit!" when he makes a catch, whereas Moss does it constantly.

2007 Stats (through 13 games):
Owens: 74 catches, 1270 yards, 97.7 yards per game, 14 TDs
Moss: 82, 1264, 97.2, 19 TDs
Edge: Moss, slightly. T.O. isn't the same redzone target Moss is because he doesn't jump quite as high and Dallas has other good options in Witten and Barber. Still, both guys are having great years, but you can't ignore a 5 TD difference.

Career Stats:
Owens: 171 games played, 875 catches, 12,985 yards, 75.9 yards per game, 128 TDs
Moss: 151, 758, 11,964, 79.2, 120
Edge: Owens, slightly, and here's why: He never takes a game off. Love him or hate him, regardless of whatever venom he might spew about his QB or coach or team during the week, he comes to play. Always. Randy had 11 TDs in TWO seasons combined in Oakland - his last two seasons before coming to New England. Not counting Owens' 2005 campaign, when he was still putting up gaudy numbers until the Eagles shut him down after 7 games - he has put up 14 or more TDs in all but two of his seasons since 1998, which was his coming out party. Randy has admitted to not really giving a shit sometimes. When he gives a shit he's phenomenal, but sometimes he doesn't. That isn't cool.

Locker room persona:
Owens: If he's happy, everyone is happy.
Moss: Less influential and less vocal than Owens, but if he isn't pleased, it will be clear.
Edge: Even, although if either is unhappy, T.O. will still perform on the field. Moss might not.

Career defining moment(s) to date:
Owens: That catch he made against the Packers in the playoffs in 1998 remains one of the more impressive grabs I've ever seen. That was the exclamation point to a season that put him on the map. That being said, his career may be more defined by the whole Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb feuds than by his extraordinary talent.
Moss: After falling all the way to 21st in the 1998 draft, Moss set the league on fire for a team that holds the NFL record for points scored - a record that Moss' new team is about to break. He put up 1,300 yards and 17 TDs as a rookie, and only had one season with fewer than 10 TDs in Minnesota before going to Oakland. Before he left Minnesota there was no debate as to who the best receiver in the NFL was. His 19 TDs this season make his subpar performance in Oakland easy to overlook, unless of course you're a Raiders fan.
Edge: Moss, slightly. Neither of these guys will be remembered as ideal teammates, but if they both retired today, Moss' legacy would be cleaner and more impressive.

Final Verdict: Moss, but it's close. They're both essentially locks for the Hall, but Moss is the more unique, dynamic talent. Also, he isn't nearly as big of a dick/drama queen.

How Dare You Boo A.J. Feeley!

Yes you, fellow Eagles fans. You wanted A.J., you got him. Why any of you are the least bit surprised that a back up quarterback played like - gasp! - a back up quarterback, I have no idea. But in a poll conducted by the local NBC affiliate, over 70% of those polled this past week said they wanted Feeley to start regardless of McNabb's health. So, roughly 70% of Eagles fans are morons, give or take? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Well, I'm not a fucking moron. Feeley now has 7 interceptions on the season. Donovan McNabb has 6. A.J. has started 2 games. Donovan has started 10. Hmmm, one of those things is worse than the other. Now look, I understand McNabb is still banged up. It is, after all, December. Given the circumstances, Feeley should have started against the Seahawks. But the circumstances are not "A.J. Feeley is better than Donovan McNabb". The circumstances are "Donovan McNabb is hurt". And Jesus, he needs to heal. Fast.

Honestly? I'm glad Feeley played like dog shit. Don't get me wrong, I wanted the Eagles to win, but I was tired of hearing blowhards like Angelo Cataldi croon on about how McNabb needs to go. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. He's the second best Philadelphia athlete of my generation - behind Allen Iverson - and while Chase Utley is one more great season away from surpassing him, he will forever go down as one of the greatest Eagles of all time, and that's saying something.

Before the season started I wrote this, a piece about great Philly athletes of the last 15 years leaving town despite having something left in the tank, something to contribute to the team, and about how I do not want to see McNabb going down that road. A week ago it seemed inevitable that he would be gone well before he retired, before he stopped playing well. A week, later, that seems less certain. After the game reporters were getting fan reactions from Feeley's God-awful performance. One reporter had this exchange with a fan that had brought a pro-Feeley sign to the game:

Reporter: So who do you want to be the starter next week?
Fan: McNabb!
Reporter: But last week you said you wanted Feeley.
Fan: Well not no more!

Without even playing, Donovan has gained back much of the fan support that was rightfully his. And for that, I will not boo A.J. Feeley. I thank him. The Eagles needed him, and he came through in spades. Now let us never speak of him again.

Sheldon Was Almost Right. Almost.

Oh, that was close. So very, very close. Let me just say, first and foremost, that I am proud of the Eagles. They put up one hell of a fight and even, on a select few occasions, looked like the better team. They weren't the better team, and they sure aren't the better team, but to a casual observer, they may have appeared that way at times.

There are a few things that need to be said about this game. For only the second time this season, the Patriots looked mortal. Someone may not beat this team, but shit, someone can. The don't run that well. The defense isn't that good. (It's easy to seem that good when the offense keeps you off the field for 40 minutes a game.) And Tom Brady, well, okay, he's really fucking good. He may have only had one TD, but he didn't really make a bad throw all game. Maybe one or two, but not when it mattered. Did anyone really think the Eagles were going into halftime with a lead when Brady was driving at the end of the first half, down by 4? I sure didn't. No one runs a two minute drill better than he does. That fucking asshole.

What also needs to be said is this: A.J. FEELEY IS NOT A BETTER QUARTERBACK THAN DONOVAN McNABB. He never has been, and he never will be. So seriously, all of you idiots here in Philly that think he's the answer, please, shut up. How soon we forget that this is a young man that couldn't hold down a starting job for the soon-to-be 0-11 Miami Dolphins. He's a good back up QB, but that's just it - he's still a back up. A.J. played admirably against the Patriots, but he wasn't "amazing" or "incredible", which were both words I heard someone use to describe his performance tonight. McNabb probably wouldn't have thrown that first interception and he definitely wouldn't have thrown the second one.

One could argue that he may not have made the plays in between those two passes that kept the Eagles in the game, and to that I offer this: if the Eagles coaches called the exact same gameplan for McNabb that they do for any of his back ups, (Feeley, Garica - anyone), then he would be more effective than any of those guys. He is a better QB than any of those guys and would therefore be more effective than any of them if the coaches would use the same gameplan, which is: throw when you have to, but win with Westbrook. The Eagles had to throw a lot tonight because the Patriots keyed in on Westbrook, and trust me people, a healthy Donovan McNabb throws the ball better than a healthy A.J. Feeley every fucking time. It isn't McNabb's fault that Andy still thinks he's the best player on the Eagles. This game was as close as it was because Jim Johnson is a genius and because the playcalling was simple and effective, not because A.J. Feeley is Joe Montana. If McNabb is healthy - and I will concede the possibility that he may not be for quite some time - he should start for this football team. End of discussion.

As for the rest of the game, well, you gotta hand it to both sides. The Eagles deserve credit for shoving what was obviously, in retrospect, one of the most ridiculous spreads of all time down the throats of anyone who bet against them. And the Patriots deserve credit because, well, they did win. And that is, unfortunately, the bottom line. They won. They are still undefeated and will remain that way for at least 7 more days. But there is hope. Someone can beat this team, and God willing, someone will. I can't live in a world where Philadelphia fans rightfully think of Boston fans as obnoxious blowhards. If you think they're bad now - and they are - just wait until the Pats go 19-0. Trust me, we ain't seen nothin' yet. Here's hopin' we never will.

Sheldon Sez: Pats Are Beatable.

You know, if you injure Brady or Moss. A direct quote from Sheldon Brown, starting cornerback for the Eagles, who face the Patriots this Sunday night:

"I think everybody's beatable. This is what's funny to me, and this is why I don't gamble. Say Tom Brady takes a blow to the head in the first quarter and gets a concussion. Are they beatable? Say Randy Moss runs a go route and pulls a hamstring. Are they beatable? It takes a total team effort. Everybody seems to forget that. the game we play, it's such a violent sport, you never known when I guy is going to go down."

Word. That's what I want to hear from my defensive players. Brown isn't stupid. He knows he can't cover Moss. No one can. But if Moss were to pull a hammy, or catch a shiv in the back, shit, you never know who might win.

On a related note, the Eagles are 22 point underdogs. Damn. That's the second highest spread ever. In the history of the NFL. Now, if McNabb and Quentin Mikell announce they're playing, that will probably drop to a more reasonable 17 or so. Yikes. Remember when these two teams played in the Super Bowl? Yeah, they've gone in different directions since then.

This Just In: The Eagles Stink!

Wait a minute... that isn't "just in". We've known that for weeks now. All last night's game did was drive that point home in a way that only a nationally televised game against the Cowboys could. The 'Boys won 38-17, and, um, it wasn't that close. The Eagles are now 4 games back in the division with only 8 to play. They are also 0-3 within the division, having lost to the Redskins, Giants and Cowboys once each, all on national TV.

So what's going on? The Eagles used to dominate on national TV (unless it was an NFC championship game). Now? Now they don't dominate anything. I mean, one week they keep Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson in check, and the next week Tony Romo is ass-raping them with a plunger, and doing it with a smile. Yes, the Cowboys are a much better team than the Vikings (and the Eagles, for that matter) but it still does not explain why the Eagles have been so maddeningly inconsistent this season. Usually, when a team plays so up and down over the course of the season, it's time to look at the coach.

Ah yes, the coach. Now look, I have nothing but sympathy for Andy Reid and what he has had to deal with in terms of his offspring over the course of the last year. This isn't his fault. If they were 16, then maybe you could point a finger at him and his wife, but these boys are grown men (albeit stupid ones). Yes, he has, for the last decade at least, worked ridiculously long hours. You know why? To provide for his family! That's how you idiots repay him? Selling drugs in the ghetto and brandishing fire arms at other drivers? Deep down I'm praying those boys don't reproduce, but something tells me they will. They are, after all, Mormons.

Now, it would be foolish to say that Andy has not been affected by the behavior surrounding the idiots known as Britt and Garrett Reid. However, Andy maintains that it does not affect the way he coaches. Well Andy, I'm calling shenanigans. Either it is affecting you and you need to take a leave of absence (no one will judge you) or it isn't affecting you and you just don't know how to coach anymore. The latter is certainly a possibility, but it's still hard to believe for a man who has won over 60% of the games he has coached. But he did, after all, call that punt at the end of the Saints playoff game last year, so maybe he is losing it. And he's always been terrible with clock management. Still, he's got to be one of the better coaches in the NFL, right? Isn't it time for him to take a break, let the Eagles cruise to a 6-10 record, get a nice draft pick and work on next year? Look, I'm not advocating my team go in the tank, but shit, they aren't a playoff team, let alone a Super Bowl contender.

I'm also not advocating the start of the Kevin "Corn on the" Kolb era. McNabb still has a couple good years left, but when his most dangerous target is Kevin Curtis, you can't expect the Eagles to strike fear into the hearts of opposing defenses. It's time to look at next season. Going 6-2 down the stretch and squeaking into the playoffs for a road game would not be a good thing. If this team is to ever win a Super Bowl with any of the pieces it has in place, another draft pick in the 19-26 range isn't going to help. Should we start throwing games? Of course not. This team is shitty enough to lose games while giving a full effort. But this season is over, even if there are 8 games left. Just because I'm not too delusional to admit it, that doesn't make me the asshole. No, the asshole is still this guy.

God, what a fucking asshole.

Blah Blah Boston Blah

The Patriots won by 45 today, but that's only the second biggest story in Boston. The Red Sox just swept the Rockies (way to fucking go, you purple assholes) in the World Series, and, um... no one really cares? Well, that isn't true. People in Boston care. And bandwagon fans all over the country are pretending to be happy. And for whatever reason Joe Buck wont stop talking. God he sucks. He's like the Dane Cook of sports announcers - untalented and inexplicably famous.

Whatever. I can't watch any more of this celebration. Not because I'm a hater, mind you, but because I just don't care. And maybe a little because I'm a hater.

Anyway, the Eagles won. They beat a team that was starting a QB that couldn't even make their team. That should be all you need to know about the Vikings passing game. Dreadful. The Eagles didn't look awful, but they still suck in the red zone. This is a quintessential 8-8 team if I ever saw one. Yay. Wake me next April. Go Phils.

Sunday Thoughts

Oh, today was not a good day to be an Eagles fan. Not that we have many good days. But today was especially bad. The Bears went 97 yards in 90 seconds with no time outs to win the game. And my fantasy team was playing against Mushin Muhammad, who caught the game winning pass. And I was starting the Eagles defense. Instead of the Redskins'. Guhhhh. W. E. A. K.

But enough about my fantasy team, which Shaun Alexander is methodically killing. As for the Eagles, well, let's face it: the season is over. They're 2-4, and the Redskins, the team in 3rd place in the division, is 4-2. And it's not like the Eagles have been unlucky or anything. They just haven't played well. A ton of stupid penalties combined with a crappy red zone offense and a defense that doesn't make big plays is not a recipe for success. It's time to start looking at next year.

But enough about my crappy home team. Tom Brady, you go to hell. 6 TDs? Go. Fuck. Yourself. 27 on the year? Again, go fuck yourself. This applies to all you Boston Fans out there as well. I don't care how good he is. He still looks like a white Yao Ming. I'm serious. He does. Just look:
Don't tell me you don't see a resemblance. But, no matter how you slice it, the Patriots are good. Real good. And Dolphins are bad. Real, real bad.

You know who isn't bad? The 6-1 Flyers, who won again last night in overtime against the Carolina Hurricanes, a hockey team whose sheer existence is a slap in the face to the sport. Not because they're a bad team (they're actually pretty good) but because hockey should not be played in either of the Carolinas. It shouldn't be played anywhere ice doesn't form naturally. In the last 15 years loyal fan bases such as Quebec, Winnipeg and Hartford (among others) have been stripped of NHL franchises because the league thought a bunch of displaced yuppies in warm locales would make good fans. Riiiight. Half of Tampa's population still has no idea the Lightening won a Stanley Cup. But whatever. I'm not supposed to care about hockey. It's the American Way.

Anyway, here's hoping Peyton Manning registers one fantasy point or less tomorrow night. Sigh... I hate you Shaun Alexander.

The Eagles: Solidly Mediocre

Yeah, they won. But it wasn't pretty. The defense played well, the offense, eh, not so much. McNabb just isn't 100%, and the play calling just isn't that good. Is this a playoff team? In the NFC, why not? They will, however, have to finish better than at least one team in the division, and that seems unlikely. They aren't catching Dallas. The Giants are, somehow, 4-2. And the Redskins, well, they are the Redskins. Anything is possible I suppose. But I wouldn't wager on them either way. Anyway, enough about them. My interest is minimal, at best.

The Rockies have now won 20 of their last 21 games. They are one win away from the World Series. Fans are coming out of the woodwork, primarily because the Broncos aren't good (and are on a bye week). I honestly think this team will beat Cleveland in the World Series, because that seems to be how baseball has been working lately. Let's take a look at the last six World Series Champions, shall we?

2006: St. Louis Cardinals. Totally loyal fan base, relatively deserving city, completely undeserving team. They won 83 games. Ugh. The NL Central should be wiped off of the face of the Earth. At least the Rockies won 90 games (including a 1 game playoff) this year.

2005: Chicago White Sox. No problem here, although these fans did get six championships out of Michael Jordan. That helps to ease the pain of not winning a World Series for 87 years.

2004: Boston Red Sox. Look, just because they were the loudest whiners does not mean they were tortured. They got two Patriots Super Bowl victories right before the World Series and one right after it. And there was the whole Larry Bird era. And, while most pre-2004 Sox fans were quite loyal, all of the ones that have sprung up since have made Boston area fans intolerable as a whole. This series wasn't a slap in the face to baseball, but to sports fans in general, it has made our quality of living worse simply because of how it has made all Boston fans.

2003: Florida Marlins. Um, it don't get no worse than this. We were 7 outs away from Cubs-Red Sox and we ended up with Marlins-Yankees. The Marlins also won in 1997 (only their 5th season in the league) only to completely dismantle the team they had put together. (And they beat the Indians! Harbinger of doom, anyone?) The same thing happened in 2003, and as a result, they have no fans whatsoever. A baseball team. In Miami. Without fans. The city is like, 94% Latino!* They love baseball! The Marlins are a disgrace to our national pastime, through no real fault of the players or the fans. But there is no franchise in American sports less deserving of a championship, let alone two. Fuck the Marlins. Yes, I am bitter.

2002: Anaheim Angels. Well, I guess this team has fans. But does Disneyville U.S.A. really deserve a championship sports team? I say no. They never should have renamed this team. What was wrong with the California Angels? It worked wonders for the raisins. Damn, those are some smoov muthafuckas. Also, rally monkeys are gay. Real gay.

2001: Arizona Diamondbacks. Ah, they year that started it all. Look, we're all real glad the Yankees dynasty ended at the hands of someone, but did it have to be a team in it's 4th season? Again, nothing against the players, but for fucks sake, there's a pool in left field. A fucking swimming pool! In a baseball stadium! Honestly, what was the thought process there? "Hey, you know what would make watching a baseball game more enjoyable in person? Swimming!" And I'm supposed to believe this team has real fans? Yeah, right. They don't even deserve to beat the Rockies.

Which brings me back to my original point: The Cleveland Indians, swell bunch of guys that they are, are destined to lose to another NL expansion team. It will probably be the Colorado Rockies, and while I'll be rooting for the Indians, at least I'll be able to take solace in the fact that my city will remain only the second most tortured sports town around. Golly, I sure do love baseball.

*Statistical data unresearched and entirley fabricated.

Did You Hear That?

That was roughly 7 million people in the greater Philadelphia area breathing a collective sigh of relief. The throwback unis (seen on Reggie Brown and Correl Buckhalter, right) were ugly, and so was the beating. The Eagles put an absolute whoopin' on the Lions Sunday, winning by a score of 56-21. The Eagles put up 42 in the first half en route to dismantling a Lions team that many people thought might be for real this year. And who knows, maybe they are. But with a defense like that, I wouldn't bet on it. The Lions' two wins have come against Oakland and Minnestoa, two teams with a combined record of 2-4, and those two wins have come against Atlanta and Cleveland, who sport a combined 1-5 record. So yeah, Detroit isn't one of the worst teams in the league, but they sure as hell aren't one of the best.

Now, despite their emphatic, convincing victory, the Eagles weren't perfect, although McNabb was. Literally. His QB rating for the game was the highest possible. He looked good. The secondary, without Dawkins or Lito Sheppard, got lit up for over 400 yards in the air, although to the credit of the defense as a whole, the Lions did not score in the 2nd half. The defense also recorded nine sacks, with Trent Cole leading the way with three.

Kevin Curtis went off for 221 yards and 3 scores. Um, T.O. never did that. Westbrook also racked up 221 total yards (110 rushing, 111 receiving) and 3 scores, despite leaving the game in the 3rd quarter with a rib injury. X-rays were negative.

Correll Buckhalter and rookie Tony Hunt also got in the board with rushing TDs late in the game to complete th biggest ass whooping (in terms of points scored) the Eagles have put on anyone since they trounced the - guess who! - yup, the Lions, in the playoffs in 1996 by a score of 58-37. We should play Detroit more often.

The Eagles ran early and often which allowed McNabb to stretch the field. The offense looked just like it did early last season - good. But hey, the Lions aren't good, at least not on defense.

And, when you consider that the Packers, a team the Eagles really should have beaten, are 3-0 and the Redskins are 2-1, the rest of the season doesn't look too bleak. Of course, if McNabb doesn't play well against the Giants next week, various idiots all over Philadelphia will be calling for his head. After all, the Phillies will have played themselves out of the playoffs by then and there will be nothing to take attention away from the Eagles. What? You say no one has been paying attention to the Phillies anyway? Yeah, you're right. But it's still nice to get that first win out of the way, and the Eagles did it in style. Breathe easy everyone, for at least 7 days.

Is It Possible The Eagles Aren't Good?

Yes, it's possible. Is it too early be arriving at that conclusion? Probably. But when judging the Eagles, one has to consider certain truths and myths regarding this season.

Myth: Donovan McNabb isn't the same quarterback he once was. He's holding the Eagles back and he needs to go.

Truth: Look, he isn't 100% yet. They say it takes 2 years to fully recovery from a major knee injury. It's been 10 months. Do I think Kevin Kolb will be a good NFL QB some day? Yes, I honestly do. Is it time, after two weeks, to dismiss the Donovan McNabb era as a failure and give the kid the keys? FUCK NO. Donovan will return to form. I'm not blind - he looked unimpressive against Green Bay and worse against Washington - but he will continue to improve as the season goes on.

Myth: The Eagles' current receiving corps is good enough for a legit playoff run.

Truth: No it isn't. Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown would be great compliments to a great number 1 receiver, but neither of them are good enough to fill that role. There's more than one reason McNabb hasn't looked good. When your receivers get no separation, it's hard to get them the ball. Your throws have to be perfect (or better) every time, and only robots like Peyton Manning can pull that shit off. Why is Andy Reid vehemently opposed to giving McNabb a legit superstar receiver? Well, to his credit, he did try it once. It didn't quite work out in the end. But damn did it work for a little while. McNabb was a different QB with T.O. around. They fed off each other. Even Stallworth, a legit deep threat, made a difference. But no, Randy Moss wasn't worth a 4th round pick. He is, at worst, the 3rd best receiver of all time. He would have made a huge difference, kind of like he's doing in New England. Great QBs need great receivers, and vice versa. McNabb is no exception.

Myth: Donovan McNabb is the best player on the Eagles, so it makes sense to have him passing 60% of the time.

Truth: Brian Westbrook is, and has been for some time, the best offensive Eagle. The Eagles weren't successful after McNabb went down last year because Jeff Garica is God. They were successful because Westbrook became the focus of their offense, something everyone has seemingly realized except for the guys calling plays. GUHHHHHH. Give him the fucking ball. A lot. Please. The Redskins keyed on him all fucking game and he still racked up 162 total yards. He's incredibly good. Why Andy Reid fails to see this, I do not know.

Myth: The offseason adventures of Andy Reid's kids are distracting him and taking away from his ability as a coach.

Truth: Um, this one may be true. Can't say I blame you Andy. I mean, it's at least partially your fault you raised idiots, but anyone who claims that the exploits of the Reid boys wouldn't distract them is lying. Good luck fat man.

Myth: The Eagles' season is over and it's time to start planning for '08.

Truth: It's two games people. Two. The last time they lost their first two games, they finished 12-4. Yes, that team was better than this one, but it's early. And this is the NFC we're talking about. You know who's 2-0 in the NFC right now? Dallas, Washington, Green Bay, Detroit and San Francisco. Would you be shocked to see the Eagles in the playoffs instead of any one of those teams? Didn't think so. Take a deep breath everyone. No need to panic. It's only been two games.

Now, if we lose to the Detroit Fucking Lions next week, then we can start panicking.

That Was Pathetic

The Eagles lost a game that no one deserved to win. I guess the Packers deserved to lose it a little less. Their front seven looked quite good, and while their offense was terrible, their return game sure was better than the Eagles'! Ugh. I don't know who the special teams coach for the Eagles is, but he/she/it should be fired. Two muffed punts that shouldn't have even been fielded? Guhhhhhh.

On the plus side, the defense looked pretty good, but the Packers have a crappy offense. A terrible start to the season for sure for the birds, although I expect them to rebound at home Monday night against the Redskins.

Oh, and the Phillies won. Yay.

You Know Who I Don't Envy?

Andy Reid. And it isn't just because he's, fat, mustachioed and Mormon. Or that he works 130 hours a week during the season. At least he gets paid a lot. No, I don't envy him the least bit because his sons are fucking morons. Especially Britt, although that's what you get for naming your son Britt.

You're out on bail, a lot of people in the area know what you look like, and you're so noticeably fucked up that someone who works at Dick's Sporting Goods calls the cops on you because you're about to drive? Wow. Somewhere Marcus Vick is calling you an idiot. Have fun in prison.

Also, the Phillies season is over. This just gets sadder by the minute. 14 runs to the Padres? It's the fucking Padres! Their offense sucks! And yet, our pitching sucks even more. It sucked enough to give up 22 hits to the Padres. Hey, at least Greg Maddux got his 10th win for the 20th season in a row. Be impressed. Be very impressed.

Utley should be back this weekend. Adam Eaton should be back for the Mets series. Sadly, these are both good things. That's how bad the rotation is right now. Save us Jebus. And do it soon.

He's Baaaaacccckkkkkk

McNabb finally took the field for the first time since November. He looked good. Real good. Not to jinx anything, but it appears the knee is a-ok. Which makes me happy. If he's healthy the Eagles are clearly the class of the NFC East and top 3 NFC team. Playoffs? Um, yeah.

In other news, the Phillies smacked the crap out of the Pirates, although the bullpen did it's best to keep the game close. Final score was 11-8. Unfortunately, the Mets keep winning too.

Funny Phillie anecdote: last weekend a friend of a friend was out at a bar in downtown Philly and ran into Pat Burrell, Chase Utley, and a personal hero of mine and champion of metaphysics, Darren Daulton. Utley had a cast on his hand and a hat pulled over his eyes, and when my friend's friend approached him and said "Hey, you're Chase Utley", he replied with "Nah man, I'm Allen Iverson." Classic. Burrell then asked him "Where are your lady friends?" I don't know Pat, where's your fiance? Asshole. I'm just glad you're hitting.

Well, It's August...

So I guess it's okay to talk about the NFL. ESPN.com recently released a list of the 50 most likely current NFL players to make the Hall of Fame, as well as 10 guys on the bubble. For the most part, the list was pretty good. (The complete list can be found here, while there are also sections of 10 players at a time with explanations as to why the players were chosen.)

There was only one Eagle in the top 50, which honestly sounds about right. Anyone who really follows the NFL knows that the lone Iggle is not Donovan McNabb (he was listed as "On the bubble"). No, it is none other than Brian Dawkins, a man who is indeed a shoo in for the Hall. Destined to go down as one of the best safeties of all time, Dawk was number 25 on the list, with number 1 (Brett Favre) being the most deserving.

As for McNabb being on the bubble, I can't say I disagree. He certainly has Hall of Fame talent, but recent injuries and a certain elusive piece of gaudy jewelry might be blocking his path. That being said, he still has a few good years left and I'm confident Donovan will find his way into Canton.

My biggest complaint? Where's Brian Westbrook? I'm certainly not saying he's a shoo in for the Hall, but I do think he at least deserves bubble consideration. He's one of the most dynamic talents in the league, capable of taking the ball to the house any time he touches it, and last year he proved he can shoulder a full workload over the course of a season.

His career stats are pretty darn good - and bear in mind, he's only going to turn 28 in September. He has 3,452 career rushing yards on 736 attempts, giving him a very good 4.7 yards per carry. He has also recorded 20 rushing TDs. In addition, he has 2,436 receiving yards on 257 catches, with an average of 9.5 yards per catch to go along with 18 TDs.

Take away his rookie season, when he only gained 277 total yards (Duce Staley was still a Philly fixture at that point) and his per season totals (4 seasons) look like this: 815 rushing yards on 173 attempts for 4.7 yards per carry with 5 rushing TDs. 62 receptions a year for 588 yards and 4.5 TDs. So that's 1,400+ total yards a season with about 10 TDs a year. That's pretty darn good. Oh, and over the last 4 years, he's only got three fumbles. That is not a typo. Three. In Tiki Barber's first 4 seasons a feature back, he had 27 fumbles. Twenty. Fucking. Seven. That's a lot more than three.

And last year was Westbrook's best season by far. He gained 1,916 total yards (1,217 rushing, averaging 5.1 yards per carry) and scored 11 touchdowns. One must assume he is capable of replicating those numbers for at least three more years. If that doesn't make him Hall worthy, I don't know what does. Only time will tell, but at his current pace, I think Westbrook deserves legitimate Canton consideration.

This is Not Going to End Well

Bobby Abreu. Allen Iverson. Donovan McNabb. What do they all have in common? No, it isn't a ridiculous beard. That's just McNabb, who has clearly been hanging around Koy Detmer way too often. Iverson, Abreu and Mcnabb are all the best players of my lifetime for each of the three major sports teams in Philadelphia. (Hockey stopped being a major sport when it took a team out of Winnipeg to put in in Phoenix. Also, I understand it's likely that Ryan Howard and Chase Utley will have better careers than Abreu, but as of now, it's too early to declare them better players than Abreu ever was.)

It appears these three men will soon have another thing in common as well: a departure from Philly that neither the athletes nor the fans deserved. Abreu was shipped off because the Phillies did not want to pay him. Iverson was jettisoned because the Sixers had given up on building a team around him. Donovan may be gone for both reasons. And so, before that happens, I have a request: please Donovan, don't go down that road.

I'm different from most Philadelphia sports fans. For starters, my education extends past 7th grade. Also, I'm a bigger Phillies fan than anything else, a rarity in an Eagle-first town. Also - and this might be directly related to trait number one - I don't boo my own players at the first sign of struggle. Don't get me wrong, I will boo when necessary. Give up 4 home runs in a game? I'm booing. Throw that 3rd pick? I'm booing. Wear a jersey that says "Eaton"? You better fucking believe I'm booing. It's just that if a guy is in a slump, we tend to berate him instead of supporting him, and I have trouble believing that helps.

The Philadelphia sports media, which consists of a bunch of blowhards calling themselves fans - I'm looking at you Cataldi - also tends to be overly negative and hypocritical. They made fans believe Abreu was the reason the Phillies weren't playing well and that the attitude change after he left last season was why they had such a good record after the break. I tend to think that Rollins and Howard hitting a combined 843 home runs in August and September along with a pitching staff hitting its stride was the more likely cause. But hey, what do I know? All I did was watch every game. I do know this though - if Bobby is a Phillie for the entire 2006 season, they make the playoffs.

As for Iverson, who was never exactly a media darling, well, he probably did need to go. (I, along with every other fan, loved him, but they weren't going any further with him as the centerpiece of the team.) But had Billy King pulled the trigger last summer the Sixers could have swung Carlos Boozer and the 7th pick in the 2006 draft, which ended up being Randy Foye. Add those two guys to Iguodala, Willie Green, Korver and Dalembert and that is a nucleus with which you can work. Instead they waited till midway through this season and got 30 cents on the dollar for him. Yes, the two 1st round picks will be nice, but Billy King, idiot that he is, is in charge of using them. Confident I am not.

And then there's Donovan. Sweet, sensitive Donovan. With apologies to Randall Cunningham, Jim McMahon, Ron Jaworski, Ty Detmer, Koy Detmer, Rodney Peete, Bobby Hoying, Doug Pederson and Jeff Blake, McNabb is the best quarterback in Eagle history. And now the media is going apeshit over the Eagles using their first pick - which was NOT A FIRST ROUND PICK - on a quarterback. Do I agree with the pick? Not this second. But if Kevin Kolb is a stud five years from now I'll be fine with it.

Look, McNabb has been hurt recently. He isn't getting any younger. Football is a business. You have to plan for the future. And that's fine. You do not, however, need to make a giant fucking deal out of the Eagles planning for the future. Andy, you don't need to have a conference with Donovan. Donovan, you don't need to say that you're "shocked" with the pick. And everyone else, you don't need to make it seem like there is any question McNabb might not be the starter if fully healthy. He is an elite NFL quarterback. Do you really think Jeff Garcia would be gone if the Eagles had short term worries about Donovan?

Everyone else, though, Donovan and his fat-mouthed and even fatter-assed mother included, is not as smart as I am. Everyone else feels the need to give this way too much attention, making a would-be non-issue into a potentially hazardous real issue. (T.O. anyone?) Just let it go. There's no way of knowing if Kolb was a good draft pick, and there is no way of speeding up that judgment. We all (myself included) booed Donovan when he was drafted. I have learned from such a mistake. I will save my boos for more deserving athletes. In the meantime, everyone just chill out and hope Donovan isn't tearing up the league for some other team much like Bobby and Allen have done. If that happens, then I'll be booing.

Kevin Kolb? Really?

Because we needed a QB that badly? You have that little confidence in Donovan McNabb, at worst the 4th best QB in the league? Yes, he has been banged up. But he is also not that old. We could have used other things, like a linebacker or a cornerback. Or Dwayne Jarrett. Kolb's college numbers are very impressive, but he played in Conference USA. And we could have gotten him much later in the draft.

Look, the last time I second guessed an Andy Reid QB draft pick it was McNabb, and well, I guess I was wrong. But this seemed like a reach. As for Tony Hunt, well I would have preferred Michael Bush. He's a first round talent with an unfortunate injury his last year. Willis McGahee anyone? He still hasn't been drafted. Take him if he is available.

Also, Dallas totally ripped Cleveland off. Even if Quinn is a legit NFL QB - and I think he is - they aren't winning more than five games next year. Dallas will have an early first round pick, which blows. I hate Dallas. That being said, I think Cleveland had a decent first round. A potential franchise QB/left tackle combo is solid. But, they are the Browns. Both will be dead or crippled by 2009.

Al in all, the first round today may have been the most useless 7.5 hours in the history of the world. Excuse me while I return my attention to baseball for the next 5 months.