Showing posts with label Shawne Merriman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shawne Merriman. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Merriman Banned from Pro Bowl; Total Number of Shits Given: 0


Yes, Shawne Merriman was banned from participating in the Pro bowl due to his positive steroid test earlier this year, and not one American gave a shit. Not even Merriman himself. Why would he? No one watches the Pro Bowl, and he can still go Hawaii. It's like he's going to the company picnic but he can't play in the softball game because he embezzled millions of dollars. Maybe he would have enjoyed the game, but is he really losing any sleep over it? Not a chance. He should have been suspended for a whole year.

Meanwhile, Peyton Manning is enjoying his Super Bowl success. The line to blow him is now 3 blocks long, and consists almost entirely of television sports commentators. That being said, he does at this point have to be considered when discussing the all time greats, something I can say with confidence will never spill over to his little brother, Eli. He sucks.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Woods and Federer to Battle on Mt. Olympus

The winner will be granted immortality. The loser will be fed to Shawne Merriman. But seriously, these guys are pretty good at what they do. Too bad no one (and by "no one" I mean me) actually cares. Golf? Lame. Tennis? Dane Cook lame. So why write about them? Well, it's a week before the Super Bowl, and already everything about the Super Bowl that could be written has been written. That being said, I'll cover it eventually. Just not tonight. Also, speaking about Tiger Woods and Roger Federer covers my obligation to ever cover tennis or golf again considering this is a "sports" blog. I've already hit my quota, and damn, it feels good.