Adam Eaton, Sixers, Still Not That Good

Not that either of those statements should come as a surprise. The Sixers don't have a winning record despite their recent string of success, and Eaton doesn't have any talent, despite his large contract.

The Sixers got pounded by a much better team last night (the Celtics), allowing Boston to score the first 15 points of the game. (NOT a good way to begin.) And Eaton, who had his back injury, the one that had supposedly been lingering since last season, checked out, only to have it revealed that the injury was minor and did not require treatment, has been terrible all spring.

The fact that his injury requires no real treatment, of course, makes me wonder why the fuck he has been so terrible. Is he just of of shape? (Probably.) Is he just untalented? (Yeah.) Is he a monumental shithead who should donate 95% of his salary to Hamels? (Mmhmm.) So why the fuck was he ever signed? (Phillies management is, for the most part, incompetent.) Ugh. March Madness needs to hurry up and get here so I don't have to worry about baseball until April.

Who am I kidding? I'm not gonna stop thinking about baseball. It's only 20 days away.

Typical Phillies Behavior.

Sweep a four game series against the best team in the National League, lose 2 out of 3 to the worst NL team. It's so typical I could just puke. They have 26 games left. To make the playoffs, realistically, they need to win 18. Yeah. Right.

Oh, and fuck Adam Eaton in his fat, overpaid ass. He sucks. I mean, going from Cole Hamels to Adam Eaton is like going from getting consistent blow jobs to masturbating; the end result might be the same (a win; climax) but after a while the latter will just leave you frustrated and filled with angst. And you might hurt your wrist. (Punching a wall in anger over a blown 5 run lead; too much tugging.) Ultimately, no one wins. Fuck. Adam Eaton alone is reason enough to show Pat Gillick the door. I can't wait until I win the lottery and buy this team. Then things will change.