Johan!

I had no intention of commenting on the Johan Santana trade until the World’s Greatest Pitcher put pen to paper and officially signed with the Mets. I'll believe it when I see it, I thought. This is the Mets fan’s mentality: Nothing is certain. It’s all just a house of cards waiting to collapse. Don’t jinx it.

It’s often hard for outsiders to see, but this is the true face of the New York sports fan. Behind all the bluster and alleged pomposity, the NY sports fan is full of fear and longing. He is truly devoted and committed to his team but he always sees the cloud that comes with the silver lining. Success is craved; failure is expected. Yankees fans obscure the true face of the New York sports fan, who is typically thought of as a cocksure blowhard who believes that winning is his divine birth right. While that may be an accurate description of some Yankee fans, it is certainly not true of the rest of us.

The most compelling proof of this was evident two weeks ago during the NFC Championship Game. As regulation time expired, the Giants’ Lawrence Tynes attempted a gimme field goal to send the club into the Super Bowl. The oft-maligned Tynes had spent the season disappointing the franchise with inaccurate field goal attempts and short kickoffs, so much so that retreads like Josh Huston and Billy Cundiff found themselves with mid-season tryouts for Tynes’ job. Few fans had confidence in Tynes as he lined up for the potential game-winner and he did not fail to disappoint.

When Corey Webster made the play of his career to give the Giants the ball deep in Packers’ territory a few minutes later, I dreaded the possibility of another field goal attempt. On fourth-and-five, I was despondent to see Larry trot back onto the field so with my head in my hands I watched him redeem himself with a 47-yard winner. My immediate reaction was not joy or elation or even relief – it was shock. For a full five seconds, I sat with my mouth agape in a room full of silent observers. Did that just happen? Did we really win? We did! We won! We fucking won!!! We’re going to the Super Bowl!!! With that realization, I began to jump up and down with my fists raised to the sky like that Hampton coach after they beat Iowa State in the 2001 NCAA Tournament. But shock was still the overwhelming emotion I felt. Every conversation I had with friends for the next several hours revolved around the same general premise: “I can’t believe we're going to the Super Bowl!”

Other examples are evident in nearly all New York franchises. Giants, Jets, Mets, Knicks, Rangers - it’s the same story across the board. Two on-again, off-again football teams with bouts of winning peppered amongst long periods of ineptitude. A baseball team notable for trading away Hall of Fame pitchers and fiscal strategies that would make George Bush stand up and cheer. A cornerstone of the NBA that is wrapping up its fourth decade without a title by setting records for wastefulness, not to mention executive misconduct. A proud “Original Six” franchise that didn’t win a Stanley Cup for 54 years and followed that by not making the playoffs for another ten. Even the Yankees have begun to join the pack over the last seven years by channeling the Mets (reckless spending), Knicks (ownership/management circus) and Rangers (annual late- and post-season collapses). Behind every club is a fan base praying for a championship … but dreading something far worse.

Which brings us back to the Mets. No New York franchise has done more to earn constant skepticism quite like the Mets. The Mets have lofty expectations seemingly every season and almost always disappoint. Every March, after an off-season consisting of a series of high-profile acquisitions, Mets fans are told, “This is the year!” Expectations grow, leaving the fan base especially irritated when the team is out of contention by June.

This team is far better than that and anything less than a division title and a deep post-season run will be a disappointment in 2008, just as it was in 2007. Yes, Johan Santana gives the Mets a potentially-devastating rotation to go with a solid bullpen and three of the league’s best position players. But he does nothing to change the fact that scrubs named Brian Schneider, Luis Castillo and Ryan Church are all important pieces of our lineup on a daily basis. Carlos Delgado and Moises Alou remain old. When – not if – any of these players are injured, the bench provides little reassurance, unless you are turned on by defensive replacement outfielders, of which we now have two – Endy Chavez AND Angel Pagan. And god forbid Beltran, Reyes or Wright misses significant time. Perish the thought.

In short, color me skeptical. I’ve heard this story before. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Final Super Bowl Thoughts

Prediction: Patriots 31, Giants 24, Total number of shits given by me, 0.

This is the last you'll hear from me about the Super Bowl because I'm off to Houston tomorrow, and then to New Orleans for the game and for Mardi Gras, so I won't have time to update this. Zwill might make an appearance, but I promise nothing.

Considering it is indeed the Super Bowl, and I am indeed a sports fan, I feel as though I need to root for someone. At the very least, I need to bet on someone. Last year I bet on the Bears to cover, and that went to shit thanks to the incredible performance of Rex Grossman. Still, I wasn't upset to see Peyton Manning finally get a ring. I don't particularly like Manning, but I don't hate him either.

Eli though... Eli I don't like. Until today I was quite sure I would be rooting for the Giants. The Patriots are, after all, a detestably smug bunch of cheaters. Harrison took HGH. Belichick films things illegally. And Brady? Well, call me a hater if you must, but his life is just too fucking perfect. It really isn't personal - if he were an Eagle, I'd love him, and I am certainly willing to grant him his place in history as an all time great, but he's still a shithead. He just is. To be fair, I do like Randy Moss. But the rest of those fucks? And those fans? Guuuhhhhhhhh. Wonderful. I see your Welker jersey. Now please, fuck off.

How could I possibly root for a team like that to go undefeated? The fans would be even more insufferable than they already are. And then, it hit me: can you imagine Giants fans after a Super Bowl victory in which they knocked off an 18-0 team? Sweet merciful Jesus, they would be awful. Remember, they're (in theory) New Yorkers. They already have the built in sense of entitlement. Say what you will about New York, it is one of the most amazing cities in the world. It is - gasp! - cooler than Philly. Boston isn't. When a Boston fan is acting obnoxious, just ask them which suburb they're from and it shuts them up, at least momentarily. That doesn't work with New York fans. Even if they're from Long Island or Jersey, they still consider themselves New Yorkers, which makes them that much more insufferable. I have considerably more day to day contact with Giants fans than I do Pats fans, and while the Boston fans certainly don't deserve the undefeated season, at least they can't really get any worse. Giants fans? Oh, they can get worse. And believe me, if they win, they will.

There's also the point about the '72 Dolphins, who are a bunch of crusty old windbag shitfarts, but I don't really care about them. That being said, it would be nice to permanently shut them up. They annoy me. And seeing history made would be at least kind of cool, even if it is by a New England team. Love them or hate them, they are one hell of a football team on one hell of a run, and if they lost Sunday, the season would almost feel incomplete. In fact, if they lost, Boston fans might become even more annoying, what with all the whining and everything. I don't need that. So really, this is a tough call.

Either way I'm not going to lose a lot of sleep over the outcome. It is, I suppose, worth pointing out that one of my good friends made a $500 bet with a mutual acquaintance Pats fan when Eli was drafted that Eli would lead the Giants to a Super Bowl title within 10 years. I don't like that Pats fan, but if my buddy does have to pony up the money, I would get to mock him for it. So that's a plus.

I doubt there's much hope of an earthquake engulfing the stadium right after kickoff, so I guess I'll just be stuck rooting for whatever team I end up betting on. Which will depend on how many points are being given.

Ah, fuck it. I can't believe I'm writing this, but go Pats.

No. No, that doesn't feel right. Go Giants.

No. That's wrong too. Fuck.

Go Phillies. There we go. Only 61 days till Opening Day.