The Rays Are NOT A Great Story For Baseball (And thoughts On Euro 2008)

It's nothing personal against the players. The team has drafted well and has done quite a job of stockpiling talent. I respect that, and yes, it is nice to see a relatively small market team compete with the likes of Boston and New York.

But this team is in first place. In the American League East. And they played (and beat) the Red Sox tonight. The attendance? Just over 31,000, or 75% capacity. The team is in first place! They're playing the Red Sox! Who are these people, Braves fans? Go to the fucking games! I'm sorry, but there are no real baseball fans in the south. And there are no real pro sports fans in Florida. But I digress.

On to Euro 2008, which may have been the best soccer tournament I've ever seen. Spain was dominant throughout, and it's always nice to see the Germans lose. Spain was the best team the entire time, going 6-0 in the tournament. And that final was probably the most entertaining 1-0 game I've ever seen. Spain looked great throughout and now has to be among the favorites in 2008.

If Spain was the best team in the tourney, Turkey was definitely the most entertaining. I thought the games were going to need an NC-17 rating with the way they kept pulling goals out of their asses. It's too bad they couldn't pull it off against Germany.

Anyway, if you watched any of this tournament and still find soccer boring, I don't know what to tell you. I guess you're just a moron. Personally, I'm pretty psyched for the World Cup. I like Argentina and Spain in the final, which would be one hell of an entertaining game. Lets hope it happens so I look smart.

Happy Fourth of July everyone. You wont be hearing from me again before then. Enjoy the holiday.

Ronaldinho Is Good At Soccer

Really, really fucking good. It's like he's not even trying. Bicycle kick? Don't mind if I do! I don't care if you don't like soccer. If you can't appreciate this, you're worthless as a sports fan.

Hey Besiktas, How Does Your Ass Feel?

I'll bet it hurt, because you just got raped. Viciously. By Liverpool. 8-0? Ho-ly shit. Way to be on the wrong end of a Champions League record. Dayum. Y'all got smoked. Peter Crouch, one of the many Brits more talented than David Beckham, opened and closed the scoring. In between Yossi Benayoun notched a hat trick, Steven Gerrard (another Brit way better than Beckham) added a beauty, and Ryan Babel also tallied a pair, the first of which was a glorious backheel that I will post video of as soon as I find it. Mmm, Champions League soccer. Gotta love it.

Because Youtube Makes It Look Like We're Working When We're Really Not

I know I linked to this goal before, but man, it's so pretty I just had to post it again. Lionel Messi is the game's next great, great player. Bask in his brilliance.

Henry? Hot Damn!

Thierry Henry, arguably the premier striker in the game today, has agreed to a transfer from Arsenal to FC Barcelona, my favorite European club. This make me quite excited because he is fucking good. He will bolster an attack that seemed to be lacking a spark at times this year, and he will do it well. The man has a nose for the goal (no, that wasn't a swipe at the French) and will fit in quite well with his new team. Samuel Eto'o's future remains to be seen, but if he remains with the club, they will have a pair of attackers unmatched anywhere. Thrown in Ronaldinho and budding superstar Lionel Messi, and man, this is a team to be reckoned with. I smell a triple, (win Champions League, win the Spanish Cup and finish atop the Spanish table) and man, it smells good.

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Two Years Old

AC Milan beat Liverpool in the Champion's League final today, avenging a brutal loss 2 years ago when they blew 3-0 halftime lead, which in soccer is like blowing a 7 run lead in the bottom of the 9th. The ageless (he's actually 33) Filippo Inzaghi scored both goals for Milan, who won 2-1. Liverpool outplayed Milan for the majority of the match, but Inzaghi scored his first goal with two minutes go to in the first half, enough to demoralize any squad.

Quick side note on the first goal, which Inzaghi scored by deflecting a free kick after breaking free of the Liverpool wall: why was no one on him? You don't let an opposing player just slip through your wall! Grab his shirt! Elbow him! Step on his foot! For the love of all things Maradona, do something. But they didn't. And he made them pay.

Kaka, who played absolutely brilliantly in the semis against Man United, was relatively silent for the majority of the game, but he did set Inzaghi up beautifully in the 82nd minute to seal the game. (Liverpool scored in the 86th minute to keep things interesting, but it was to no avail.) All in all the game was exciting through the finish, but I'm sure many people will be wondering why Peter Crouch, Liverpool's top goal scorer, didn't enter the game until very late in the second half. Head coach Rafa Benitez will have some 'splainin' to do.

I just wanted to see a good game, and I did. If you didn't see it, I recommend trying to catch a replay. Also, on an unrelated note, Rod Barajas is officially on my shit list. I don't care if the Phillies still won. Missing that tag was inexcusable.

REEEEEEMAATCHHHH

AC Milan advanced despite Dida. Liverpool won via penalty kicks. (They like doing that.) Kaka is really, really, really fucking good. (He scored again today.) There is no love lost between these two teams after the 2005 final. (For those of you calling the underside of rocks home, Milan blew a 3 goal lead at halftime and eventually lost on penalty kicks to Liverpool.)

I for one am excited. If Dida ends up costing Milan the game he may be flayed alive. And deservedly so. As far as I am concerned, Milan is the considerably more talented team, much like they were 2 years ago. But Liverpool is feisty and cannot be counted out. Two conflicting stlyes of play should give us one hell of a game. Mark your calendars. This will kick ass.

Dear AC Milan,

Hi. My name is Lionel. I love soccer, and think you guys are gosh darn swell at it. There's just this one minor problem, and I understand why it has been easy to overlook. You see, in general, it is a good idea to have as many Brazilians on your roster as possible. They're really good at soccer. That guy Kaka on your team? Awesome. But here's the rub - Brazilians suck at goalie. And your goalie? Well, he's Brazilian.

You see, this guy Dida, he's cost you multiple games I have watched you play in the past few years. And I haven't even seen you play that many games. That game you lost to Deportivo in 2004 when you had a 4-1 lead on aggregate and only need to NOT LOSE 4-0 AT HOME to advance? Well, you lost 4-0. At home. And at least two of those goals were entirely his fault. And that game in 2005 you blew to Liverpool? Well, that was everyone's fault. But he didn't help matters, that's for sure.

So anyway, I'm watching you today on TV play Manchester United. They're good at soccer too. But you guys should have beaten them. And you would have if anyone other than Dida were your goalie. Okay, okay, maybe not anyone, but you guys can afford a top flight keeper. He isn't one. Kasey Keller would be a HUGE step up and I know you could lure him away from whatever mid-level English cub he's playing for now.

The first goal, which came off of a header, went through Dida's arms and hit him in the shoulder, bounced up, was heading towards the goal, and, in a feeble attempt to swat it away, he knocked it into the net. Yes, there were other players in the area. Yes, it would have been a very nice save. And yes, there are quite a few other keepers out there who would have made said save.

The second goal was excusable. Rooney made a great run. The third goal? Oh my. My oh my. Look, it was a hell of a shot by Rooney (he's good), but it had no business going in. It was the 92nd minute. It beat Dida near post. That CAN'T happen. Ever. Goalies who play for teams as good as you DO NOT allow near post goals from anyone other than the lord himself (Zidane). And he doesn't play for Man U.

So really, do yourself a favor. Get help. Goalkeeping help. The rest of your team is too good for that bum to keep starting for you. Plus, I think Gattuso is getting ready to bite him in the throat. They don't call him "The Snarling Dog" for nothing.

Sincerely,

Lionel McClure

A Couple Notes on Monday

Last night Superma- excuse me, Ryan Howard, was officially presented with his National League MVP award. He deserved it. While you statheads out there could make a legit argument for Pujols, the bottom line is, the Phillies won more games than the eventual World Series champs, ridiculous as it seems. Is Pujols a better baseball player than Ryan Howard? Yup. By a decent margin. Did Ryan Howard have a better year? Yup. He was pitched to approximately 3.5 times after September 1st and he still finished with 58 dingers and 149 RBIs. Those are MVP numbers...

In a column today, Bill Simmons called the Super Bowl "the world's biggest sporting event". Um, that's horseshit Simmons, and you know it. The biggest sporting event in America? Sure. By far. But the world? Um, roughly 5.7 billion people might disagree with you on that one. The World Cup is unquestionably the biggest sporting event in the world, putting all other happenings across the globe on hold for a month while the world's greatest game holds center stage.
Even if you don't like soccer, it is 100% impossible to make the argument that the World Cup is not the biggest sporting event in the world. Now, the Super Bowl certainly comes close to being the biggest day in sports, at least in terms of viewership and ad revenue, but I'm still pretty sure the World Cup final outdoes it. Rougly 80-90 million Americans tune in for the entirety of the Super Bowl - a large number indeed - and to be safe, let's say the total number of earthlings watching the game is 200 million (and this is a generous estimate), this comes nowhere near the amount of people tuned into the World Cup final. More people in Europe alone watched the final game of the World Cup this past year, which featured two European nations, than will watch the Super Bowl next week.

Quite frankly I'm a little surprised Simmons - someone who claims to have watched a great deal of the 2006 World Cup - made such a statement. I'm sure it was innocent enough, but I'm not letting it slide. I love the Super Bowl. I really do. But in my opinion, soccer is the greatest sport in the world. And while many may disagree with that opinion, this much is fact: soccer IS the biggest sport in the world. And that is something (American) football will never be able to claim.