Friday, March 9, 2007

Name That Team: The Philadelphia Phillies


Welcome to part five of the 30 part series in which this blog previews all 28 major league teams as well as the Royals and the Nationals. There's a good chance these previews won't be done before the season starts, so I'm going to try to get the interesting teams done first. Next up, the love of my life, The Phillies!

On paper, the Phils look good. But they've looked good on paper ever since they signed Jim Thome 4 years ago, so really, that doesn't mean a damn thing. But seriously, this could be one hell of a team. Everyone seems to think the bullpen is the biggest problem the team has, and while it isn't perfect, they could always throw John Leiber back there. He said he would be willing. But he will probably be traded for a set up guy, which I think would be dumb. He's worth more than that despite a sub-par 2006.

The biggest problem the Phillies have is finding someone to adequately protect Hurkaleez. No one pitched to him down the stretch last year, and if you think I'm convinced Pat Burrell, Taker of Called Third Strikes, is going to be the man he was in 2002 or 2005, you're greatly mistaken. Look, I desperately want Pat to succeed, and who knows, maybe he will. But I'm not holding my breath.

That brings us to the two X factors of the Phillies this year: Burrell and Cole Hamels, possible Steve Carlton clone. If both have good years (.275, 35, 115, less than 200 Ks for Burrell; 17 wins, 3.5 era or less, 200 ks or more for Hamels) then the Phillies might win the damn World Series. (Deep breath Lionel, deep breath.) If one falters, they could still make the playoffs. If both have bad years, we're in for another disappointing year.

The team does have legitimate, unmistakable bright spots, however. You think Rollins, Victorino, Utley, Howard doesn't scare the living bejesus out of any pitcher? Hell, you think Utley and Howard by themselves don't scare the living bejesus (didn't think I would use that word twice in one post, did you?) out of any pitcher? Shit, I'm scared. And I root for those guys.

As far as pitching goes, Freddy Garcia, Brett "The Hitman" Myers, Hamels, Jamie Moyer and Adam Eaton is solid, if not the best rotation in the NL. Is the bullpen perfect? Hell no. But do you think it matters if the offense is scoring 7 runs a game and the starters consistently go 6 innings or more? Nope. Now, do I think it will all come together like that? Are you kidding? I'm a Phillies fan. I'll be surprised if they win 12 games. Still, to keep things objective, over-under: 95 wins.

2 comments:

Euruproktos said...

Here's what I've got to say to you. Which team was the second most productive as far as runs last year in the NL? The Braves (849 runs scored). Your Phillies scored the most (865). We're 2nd and 3rd in the majors behind the ungodly Yankees with an astounding 930. Now why didn't the Braves or Phillies preform well? Lousy pitching--especially in the pen. The Braves would've been around a 90 win team if it weren't for our awful awful stretch in June. Smoltz would've recieved what he was do as far as Cy Young voting if the bullpen hadn't of lost so many games he left with the lead. We shored up our pen and lost one of our more productive bats--well more productive once he got on adderall. Our starting lineup is iffy but our pen is solid. Gonzalez, Soriano, Wickman and our farm boys--and you know we make great pitchers in Richmond, you know this. We may have lost Leo but McDowell's no slouch. In short we a set to take our title back and then fail miserably in the playoffs like always. But we'll get another banner to hang out there in front of the Club level seats. You will come in 2nd and the Mets will spend there time playing Canasta and Shuffleboard while they wait for Pedro to come back. Who by the way should have his second or third start at Turner Field against the Bravos on Labor Day weekend. I've got my tickets. Also I'm asking the Budweiser guys to hook me up with tickets to a Phillies game when they come to town. Your man Utley is a champ and if ya'll make the playoffs, which you should because the Mets are going to eat it. Your man Howard will probably pull off the MVP. But all that being said you'll looking to have the same bullpen woes we had last year (29! blown saves, the only, and I hesitate to use this word, 'team' worse was the Royals) especially with that wind tunnel your pitchers have to pitch in (which, by the by, helped in you guys having the highest RS in the NL). But at least you weren't stupid enough to pick Jorge Sosa just because he had some Hispanic blood and you want to keep 125th St. happy. That dumbass floats his fastball up so much that even your fat ass could drop a bat off your prime Butt cut shoulder and send it screaming. Whenever his ass walked out of the pen I knew we had just given up the game. God, does he suck. I've gone on long enough. We can continue this later. I'm going to get drunk. -- Oh by the way when I said Butt i was refering to the cut of pork, being from such a meat-loving city I'm sure you all are solid meat-cutters and have butcher how-tos in your kitchens. You guys are fat.

Euruproktos said...

I'm pretty hungover excuse the typos, please. I'm against the preview button.