Name That Team: The Minnesota Twins

Quick, name the team that won the AL Central last year. I'll give you a hint: it was not the Tigers. I know, I know, it sure seemed like the Tigers won the division, especially when you consider how easily they dispatched the rest of the American League in the playoffs. But the hottest team down the stretch was none other than the Minnesota Twins, a team that manages to win despite a small payroll and fans that say "pop" instead of "soda". It's fucking soda you northern yokels!

All dialectical differences aside, the Twins will return much of the talent that won them the division last year, including the AL MVP, the AL batting champ and the AL Cy Young award winner. The players to which I am referring are, respectively, first baseman Justin Morneau, catcher Joe Mauer, and the best pitcher in the game, Johan Santana. By the way, has any team ever boasted those 3 award winners on one roster (not including a time when one guy won two of the three)? I would be willing to bet it has never happened before, but I would not be willing to look it up. I don't get paid for this.

Anyway, much of the Twins' star power remains intact, especially on the offensive end. Torri Hunter is still there, and in a contract year. Apparently Michael Cuddyer is good (24 and 109 last year). Pink thong wearer Nick Punto is fast. And watch out for shortstop Jason Bartlett. Can you say breakout? I can. Breakout.

So is this team even flawed? Oh hell yes. After Santana there's... well, Russ Ortiz. Yep, that Russ Ortiz. At least he used to be good. Can't say the same for degenerate Sidney Ponson, who is also in the mix for a starting rotation job. Boof Bosner and Matt Garza both have a ton of talent and should start for this team, but Garza is still really young and Bosner's first name is "Boof", which is hardly trustworthy. Francisco Liriano, who was looking like the second best pitcher in baseball last year until he suffered an elbow injury in September, will unfortunately miss most, if not all, of the 2007 season. The Twins really could have used him. He may have been the greatest fantasy sleeper of all time (28 games, 16 starts, 12 wins, 2.16 ERA, 144 Ks). Hell, any baseball team really could have used him this year. Oh well.

If this team can manage to get enough leads to Joe Nathan and the rest of the stellar bullpen, they could win another division title in what might be the toughest division in baseball. It's a really big "if" though. Still, this team will probably find a way to sneak into the playoffs and then lose to a team with a payroll that doubles its own. Over-under on wins: 90.