While having a drink or two after work with a coworker of mine earlier this week, I heard some very inflammatory information regarding current and former Phillies. Let me make this abundantly clear before I continue: the rest of this post is hearsay. I don't have proof. Only word of a coworkers mouth. And I'm inclined to believe her, because honestly, it's more fun that way.
According to my colleague, who apparently dated Jason Michaels, former Phil, for a brief period in 2003, Pat Burrell parties hard. So hard that he once crashed at Michaels' and Nick Punto's apartment and pissed Punto's bed. Upon awakening and realizing that people knew what happened and were laughing at him, Burrell chucked a lamp at the amused parties.
Side Notes: My coworker claims Jason Michaels is on the 'roids and that she saw a needle of his. She also claims Punto used to wear his ex girlfriend's pink thong around his apartment while drunk. Again, I don't have legit proof, but if a girl were to lie about hooking up with baseball players, would she really be lying about Nick Punto and Jason Michaels? I doubt it.
On to the main point of the story: this coworker of mine claims that Pat Burrell knocked up her sister and is the father of her three year old niece. She showed me video footage of said niece, and, while it was on a cell phone, I'll be damned if that kid didn't resemble Pat the Bat. Burrell is apparently fighting this and claiming the girl isn't his kid, but according to my coworker, her sister has a lawyer and this is far from over.
Now honestly, I couldn't care less about Pat's illegitimate children. The man makes 13 million dollars a year and if some gold digger snagged him because he was too stupid to wrap it up - and this situation in particular is not that of a gold digger, I'm just generalizing here - then pay her. (Apparently Pat has claimed to "have beaten 7 of these before".) I just want the man to hit well. And if this paternity case is fucking with his head, well, he best clear it up. Take a lesson from Trevis, Pat. To avoid trouble, use a rubber. Now go fucking protect Ryan in the line up, before I write some really bad, truthful stuff about you. You fucking overpaid fuck.
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i bet he had his cleats on when he fucked her ... and burrell doesnt cum hes too much of a badass ... just unloaded a dip on her chest and walked out ... maybe threw the lamp at her before he left but thats it
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