Thursday, August 30, 2007

Oh, Peter King...

You're out of your fucking mind. In a list of the 500 Top NFL players (arbitrarily decided by you) you list Donovan Mcnabb as #72, Brian Westbrook as #96 (should be higher than McNabb, among others) and Shawn Andrews, your highest rated Eagles, as #50. (Dawkins also made the top 100, at #55.)

You deserve to be ridiculed, but I have to go to work now. Thankfully, these guys have it covered.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Three Down, One To Go

This Phillies won game 3 of the series against the Mets by a score of 3-2, with Pat Burrell knocking in 67% of the runs for the Phils, including his 39th career homer against the Mets. Unbelievable. Rollins also homered to start the bottom of the 1st and Jamie Moyer, ageless wonder that he is, pitched well for the Phils, earning the win.

The Phillies entered the season with six starters and the 44 year old is the only one not to miss a turn in the rotation? Guuhhhh. How long until Terry Mulholland is starting for them again? (He was still in the majors until June of 2006 when the Diamondbacks released him.) That being said, it's hard to complain when you take 3 in a row from the Mets and your ace is sheduled to return this weekend.

The game ended in controversy as former Phillie Marlon Anderson was called for interference for sliding into Iguchi on a potential double play ball with one out in the 9th. This happened to Carlos Ruiz last week in a game the Phillies ended up losing, so forgive me if I'm not sympathetic.

And yes, Iguchi go the start because Uncle Cholly wanted to give Utley a day off. Um, he had the last 30 days off! Play the damn man! Sheesh. But hey, they won, so I guess I can't be too picky. 132 down, 30 to go...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Fuck And Yes

Adam Eaton wasn't terrible. Unfortunately through 7 innings, Tom Glavine was better. And then, the Bullpen for the Mets did their best Phillies impression, allowing two runs in the bottom of the 8th on a solo shot by Jimmy Rollins and some wacky running and hitting by Victorino and Rowand, respectively. Victorino was pinch-running for Burrell (I have been vehemently opposed to this in the past, which I will explain in a minute) when he stole second. A bad throw from Loduca sent him to third. Then, a chopper by Rowand that died on the chalk on the third base line plated him. Fantastic.

Before I get into the awesome details of how the game ended, I'll explain the Burrell thing. Last year Uncle Cholly made a terribly annoying habit of trying to out think himself by substituting the speedier, better fielding Nate Roberson for Burrell to either pinch run or handle defensive duty in games when the Phillies were ahead or in dire need of a run. This is all well and good, except that Roberson can't hit to save his life and more than once the Phillies ended up going into extra innings with the punchless Roberson hitting in the 5 or 6 hole. This made even less sense when Cholly did it against the Mets, a team Burrell has pounded since entering the league.

Well, tonight it worked out. After all, Victorino is no Nate Roberson (read: he can hit) and Burrell would not have been able to score the way Victorino did. So, I guess I approve.

Anyway, moving on. After tying the game in the 8th, Myers pitched a scoreless 9th. So did Mr. Steroids himself, Guillermo Mota, a.k.a Willy Weed. Myers then pitched his second straight flawless inning, and well, I'm sure by now you know what happened in the bottom of the 10th...

Fuck and yes.

Monday, August 27, 2007

What A Difference A Chase Makes

Chase Utley made his glorious return to the Phillies tonight, helping them win 9-2 over the Mets. He went 3-5 with 2 RBIs, including a solo homer to center in the 5th inning. He fell a triple short of the cycle and raised his NL leading average to .339. Yup, he's a stud.

J.D. Durbin looked good, going 6 1/3 innings and not allowing a base runner until the top of the 5th. Jason Werth also went 4-4 after going 5-5 last night, putting him one hit away from tying the NL record for hits in consecutive plate appearances. But don't mention it to him, because he's a baseball player and they're suspicious about shit like that.

Pat Burrell hit his 38th career home run against the Mets, undoubtedly aggravating countless Mets fans everywhere. This is remarkable for a man who only has 209 career homers. He even got one of his 5 career steals against Los Metropolianos. After he hit the home run tonight, which gave the Phillies a 3-0 lead, I walked past a Mets fan as I was leaving my seat and said "How 'bout that Pat Burrell!" and the look on his face could best be described as annoyed bewilderment. He wasn't surprised, but he definitely didn't understand it. Some players just own other teams. If I recall correctly, Vlad Guerrero's career average against the Phillies is .985. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the idea. Let's just say I'm very glad he's in the American League now.

Adam Eaton, who is 5-0 (vigorously knocks on wood) lifetime against the Mets, takes the hill tomorrow night against Tom Glavine. Should be a good game. Go Phils.

He's Baaaaacccckkkkkk (v2.0)


Chase Utley returns to the Phillies tonight, and it couldn't happen at a better time. Not only is it against the Mets, but I also have tickets. While Tadahito Iguchi has been good in Utley's stead, the bottom line is, he's no Chase Utley. No one is. The Phils absolutely have to win at least two of these games, and realistically, they need to win at least 3, which will be no easy task. Not only are the Mets good, but here are the four starters we will be trotting out against them: J.D. Durbin, Adam Eaton, Jamie Moyer and Kyle Lohse. Yikes. The last two wouldn't be too bad if they weren't the front end of our rotation. But at this point in the season, they are. Fuck. Hey Chase, you know how to throw a curve?

Saturday, August 25, 2007

You Know Who I Don't Envy?

Andy Reid. And it isn't just because he's, fat, mustachioed and Mormon. Or that he works 130 hours a week during the season. At least he gets paid a lot. No, I don't envy him the least bit because his sons are fucking morons. Especially Britt, although that's what you get for naming your son Britt.

You're out on bail, a lot of people in the area know what you look like, and you're so noticeably fucked up that someone who works at Dick's Sporting Goods calls the cops on you because you're about to drive? Wow. Somewhere Marcus Vick is calling you an idiot. Have fun in prison.

Also, the Phillies season is over. This just gets sadder by the minute. 14 runs to the Padres? It's the fucking Padres! Their offense sucks! And yet, our pitching sucks even more. It sucked enough to give up 22 hits to the Padres. Hey, at least Greg Maddux got his 10th win for the 20th season in a row. Be impressed. Be very impressed.

Utley should be back this weekend. Adam Eaton should be back for the Mets series. Sadly, these are both good things. That's how bad the rotation is right now. Save us Jebus. And do it soon.

Friday, August 24, 2007

God, Are You There? It's me, Lionel.

Listen God, we need to talk. This, this just isn't cool. I mean, you've been pretty good to me so far. I can't really complain. But this? This is some fucked up shit man. Cole Hamels on the 15 day DL? During the most important stretch of the season, a 10 game homestand against 3 of the NL's top teams? You know what big guy, fuck you. There, I said it. Kiss my ass you rotten motherfucker.

You pick the one guy on the Phillies even more irreplaceable than Chase Utley and you give Him "elbow tenderness"? Really? Come the fuck on. That's horseshit. I mean, I just got His jersey for fuck's sake. And now the season is over. Me and you God, we ain't cool no more. You've gone too far. I'm converting to Islam. Asshole.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

An Eventful Day in the World of Philly Sports

Before I get into the craziness that was August 21st in Philadelphia (Hamels, Trotter, Eddie Griffin - no, not that Eddie Griffin) I need to clear the air about this blog. For the longest time this has been a Philly sports blog posing as a general sports blog. Those days, dear readers, if there are in fact any of you, are over. I will no longer pretend to write a sports blog that covers all sports. It's too hard to do by yourself. Let me clarify that - it's to hard to do and do well by yourself. It's gotten to the point where I'm posting every three days (if that) and half the time it's just a blurb about what the Phillies did. That would be cool if this were a Philly blog, but it wasn't. At least not in theory.

Well, now it is. Will I occasionally still write about the goings on of non-Philly athletes? Of course, but I'll probably just do it at The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes. I'll link to it here, but this blog will be reserved for what happens here in the Two One Five. So what does that mean for those of you reading this? Well, more frequent posting, for starters. And well informed, entirely pessimistic, snarky and overtly critical posting at that. You can bet that I will be committed to covering the Phillies, Eagles, Sixers, and maybe even Flyers to the best of my ability. I also think I'm going to do NFL picks once the season starts for you gamblers out there (I'm looking at you, Todd). I gotta write what I know, and I know Philly sports to a degree that no one really should. Many thanks to those who still read this, and I promise that it will still be worth reading, even if you aren't a Philly sports fan.

Ok, so some big things happened today. I'll start with Cole Hamels, who will miss his next start due to elbow tenderness. I don't know what the fuck that means, but I don't like it. He's already logged 30 more innings than he logged last year, and here's hoping this is a very minor issue. The Phillies have no shot at the postseason if he isn't 100%.

The Eagles released Jeremiah Trotter today, after 7 non-consecutive seasons with the team. Trotter was a figurehead of the Eagles' defense and his locker room presence will no doubt be missed. The Eagles brass couldn't offer up much of reason for this, other than the fact that Trotter has lost a couple steps. This may indeed be true, but I'm still not sure I like this. It would be one thing if the Eagles were deep at linebacker, but they aren't. They're one injury away from starting Matt McCoy. Yikes. Still, the Eagles have always been good about getting rid of veterans at the right time, so we'll see. Number 54 will go down as one of the best linebackers to wear green and white, and I hope that if he does retire, he comes back as some sort of coach.

Last but not least, Eddie Griffin, former Roman Catholic star and NBA player died in a car accident on Friday. He somehow managed to crash his SUV into a train near Houston. His body was so badly damaged that he had to be identified by dental records. His NBA career was very up and down, as he was released by the Timberwolves in March. Griffin was only 25 years old. This is a sad, sad story for one of Philadelphia's best high school basketball players ever, and he will no doubt be missed by many residents of the city.

On a lighter note, the Phillies won and Tom Gordon didn't blow it despite having a chance to lose the game in the 8th. He instead pitched a 1-2-3 inning, and Myers pitched the 9th for the save. Kendrick got the win and Jayson Werth mad a couple of great throws in right field, seemingly channeling Shane "The Throwin' Samoan" Victorino. The Phils are now tied with San Diego for the Wild Card lead.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

He's Baaaaacccckkkkkk

McNabb finally took the field for the first time since November. He looked good. Real good. Not to jinx anything, but it appears the knee is a-ok. Which makes me happy. If he's healthy the Eagles are clearly the class of the NFC East and top 3 NFC team. Playoffs? Um, yeah.

In other news, the Phillies smacked the crap out of the Pirates, although the bullpen did it's best to keep the game close. Final score was 11-8. Unfortunately, the Mets keep winning too.

Funny Phillie anecdote: last weekend a friend of a friend was out at a bar in downtown Philly and ran into Pat Burrell, Chase Utley, and a personal hero of mine and champion of metaphysics, Darren Daulton. Utley had a cast on his hand and a hat pulled over his eyes, and when my friend's friend approached him and said "Hey, you're Chase Utley", he replied with "Nah man, I'm Allen Iverson." Classic. Burrell then asked him "Where are your lady friends?" I don't know Pat, where's your fiance? Asshole. I'm just glad you're hitting.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Well, There's Nowhere to Go But Up...

The Eagles got their asses handed to them by the Ravens Monday night. It was a very unimpressive effort from what I saw, which honestly wasn't a whole lot. Kevin "Corn on the" Kolb certainly didn't blow me away, although he did take a couple sacks for impressive losses.

The true story will be how McNabb plays on Friday. I think he's going to have a big year.

Also, the Phillies start two big series tonight against the Nationals and then the Pirates. Why are series against the two worst teams in the NL big? Because these are games the Phillies need to win and traditionally don't. Playoff teams consistently beat up on the doormats. The Phils need to win at least 4 of their next 6, which would put them 10 games over .500. Fingers crossed baby.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

It Wasn't Supposed to Happen This Way.

This just feels... wrong. 756, if it happened at all, wasn't supposed to go down like this. It was the most glorious record in sports. One that could never be broken. It was the record, the one every kid, myself included, dreamed of breaking. It was untouchable. Or so we thought.

When I was younger, having seen video of Aaron hitting 715, I always thought that if someone managed to hit 756, it would be a truly momentous occasion. He would forever go down in history as a legend, and I would never forget where I was if and when the record was actually broken.

Well, for the most part, that's actually true. 50 years from now I'm sure I'll remember sitting at work at 11:45pm, in an empty restaurant save for the young couple at the bar, watching Bonds' at bat live on ESPN. It seemed normal enough, but then that picturesque left-handed swing connected and his arms went up. He knew. We all knew. The inevitable had occurred. 756. As a hurricane of money-grubbing jerks (the guy who ended up with the ball was wearing a Mets jersey!) converged on the ball in the left field stands, Bonds rounded the bases and the celebration began. His legend was cemented into baseball lore, for better or for worse.

And how did I, a lifelong baseball fan, feel about all of it? Disturbingly indifferent. If you had told me as a little kid that I wouldn't giving half of a flying fuck about the record being broken, I wouldn't have believed you. I mean, he's the new Home Run King! 756! That's more than anyone, EVER. And yet, I don't care.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate Barry Bonds. I think he had hall of fame talent before he ever juiced up and I don't hold using steroids against him any more than I hold it against every other player of his generation. And, while I do believe he has knowingly used and abused performance enhancing drugs, he still hasn't tested positive. And even if he did indeed use 'roids, he was still better than every other player of his era.

No, it isn't his fault that tonight was depressing. As they say in the glamorous world of hip-hop, Barry was just "gettin' his" all these years. Can't blame him for wanting to stay one step ahead of the competition. After all, you know the saying: "Don't hate the player, hate the spineless douchebag commissioner who let baseball become so thoroughly corrupted." At least I think that's it. Sounds about right, anyway.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Well, It's August...

So I guess it's okay to talk about the NFL. ESPN.com recently released a list of the 50 most likely current NFL players to make the Hall of Fame, as well as 10 guys on the bubble. For the most part, the list was pretty good. (The complete list can be found here, while there are also sections of 10 players at a time with explanations as to why the players were chosen.)

There was only one Eagle in the top 50, which honestly sounds about right. Anyone who really follows the NFL knows that the lone Iggle is not Donovan McNabb (he was listed as "On the bubble"). No, it is none other than Brian Dawkins, a man who is indeed a shoo in for the Hall. Destined to go down as one of the best safeties of all time, Dawk was number 25 on the list, with number 1 (Brett Favre) being the most deserving.

As for McNabb being on the bubble, I can't say I disagree. He certainly has Hall of Fame talent, but recent injuries and a certain elusive piece of gaudy jewelry might be blocking his path. That being said, he still has a few good years left and I'm confident Donovan will find his way into Canton.

My biggest complaint? Where's Brian Westbrook? I'm certainly not saying he's a shoo in for the Hall, but I do think he at least deserves bubble consideration. He's one of the most dynamic talents in the league, capable of taking the ball to the house any time he touches it, and last year he proved he can shoulder a full workload over the course of a season.

His career stats are pretty darn good - and bear in mind, he's only going to turn 28 in September. He has 3,452 career rushing yards on 736 attempts, giving him a very good 4.7 yards per carry. He has also recorded 20 rushing TDs. In addition, he has 2,436 receiving yards on 257 catches, with an average of 9.5 yards per catch to go along with 18 TDs.

Take away his rookie season, when he only gained 277 total yards (Duce Staley was still a Philly fixture at that point) and his per season totals (4 seasons) look like this: 815 rushing yards on 173 attempts for 4.7 yards per carry with 5 rushing TDs. 62 receptions a year for 588 yards and 4.5 TDs. So that's 1,400+ total yards a season with about 10 TDs a year. That's pretty darn good. Oh, and over the last 4 years, he's only got three fumbles. That is not a typo. Three. In Tiki Barber's first 4 seasons a feature back, he had 27 fumbles. Twenty. Fucking. Seven. That's a lot more than three.

And last year was Westbrook's best season by far. He gained 1,916 total yards (1,217 rushing, averaging 5.1 yards per carry) and scored 11 touchdowns. One must assume he is capable of replicating those numbers for at least three more years. If that doesn't make him Hall worthy, I don't know what does. Only time will tell, but at his current pace, I think Westbrook deserves legitimate Canton consideration.