Bye Bye Bowtie!

Takeo Spikes is an Eagle. You know what this means: no more Dhani Jones! Oh thank you merciful god. If I had to sit through one more air guitar solo after his first tackle, which usually came midway through the third quarter, I would have shot someone. Jones hasn't been anywhere near decent at outside linebacker since 2003. He became an Eagle in 2004. Oops. That didn't work.
Well, now he's gone. No, he wasn't part of the trade, (the Iggles gave up Darwin Walker and an undisclosed draft pick) but Spikes will replace him on the field, addressing one of the Eagles' biggest concerns. Walker was a decent player for sure, but with Mike Patterson, Broderick Bunkley and newly acquired Montae Reagor, they are set at defensive tackle.

Meanwhile, the Phillies play their first game in 7 days. Seven fucking days. What's that? Garcia is hurt? Leiber is hurt? Burrell is pregnant? SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. I don't want to hear it. Do not ruin this for me. Baseball is a week away and I will hear no evil. There will be plenty of time for that once the Phillies start 0-3. Let me enjoy this while I can.

Coronaries. Free with every Phillies ticket. Sign me up for 15.