Ah, the NFL. Never predictable. Well, I'm not good at predicting it. At least not yet. I could be taking the coward's way out and just picking teams straight up, but that's too easy. Anyway, last week I forgot to pick the San Fran - Pittsburgh game. With San Fran getting 10 points, I probably would have taken them. And lost. Ah well. I'm changing my format because I don't feel like making the picks in bold, so home team is in caps, my pick comes first. Just like Bill Simmons. Except he has readers. Anyway, onto the picks.
MIAMI(-4) over Oakland: Miami shouldn't be giving points to anyone at this point. On paper they shouldn't be terrible, but they are. Lamont Jordan is having a fine season and should continue to do so this week. Miami Stinks, but Oakland stinks a little less. That being said, I can't see Oakland beating anyone by more than 3.
ATLANTA (+3) over Houston: No Andre Johnson. No Ahman Green (probably). And I still really had to think about his one. Atlanta is that bad. But they can't go 0-16. I'm not sure they win this gam, but it should be close.
CLEVELAND (+4.5) over Baltimore: I know, it's the Browns. They aren't good and probably never will be again. But the Ravens are overrated and Jamal Lewis, convicted felon, wants revenge. I say he gets it, but the Browns still lose by less than five, because, you know, they're the Browns.
DETROIT (+3) over Chicago: Detroit's defense can make anyone look good. Just ask Kevin Curtis. But Roy Williams and those receivers are for real, even if he is a cheap, worthless piece of shit. Tip the pizza guy you rich fuckhead. Otherwise he'll be teabagging every slice you eat until the end of time. Anyway, the Bears are reeling, and while there's a good chance they get back on track with this game, I don't think they will. They are experiencing the Super Bow Loser Year After of Suckitude and might not even make the playoffs. Are the Lions good? Not really, but they can, and will, score.
Green Bay (-2) over MINNESOTA: I still don't think Green Bay is for real. I do, however, think Minnesota's offense is terrible, even with Purple Jesus. It's a shame because that defense is really good, but they pretty much need to pitch a shutout to win.
DALLAS (-13.5) over St. Louis: Until further notice, I'm not taking St. Louis. Bulger has cracked ribs and Jackson isn't playing? And his replacement is a white running back? I hate to say it, but Dallas is good, and they should win this by a lot.
N.Y. Jets (-3.5) over BUFFALO: Wow, this game sure isn't going to be entertaining. Me and my fantasy team are hoping this is the game Lee Evans registers more than one point. That fuck. I think he will. But the Bills aren't winning. They may never win again. I still think the Jets can be a playoff team, starting with another win here.
CAROLINA (-3) over Tampa Bay: I'm so not sold on Tampa Bay. Who have they beaten? St. Louis and an apparently crappy Saints team? I'm pretty sure Carolina is good, even with
David Carr. And it's in Carolina, so they should win this without much of a problem.
SAN FRANCISCO (+2) over Seattle: If this were in Seattle, I'd pick them. But it isn't, and I still think San Fran is a good team, though I'm not sure why. I think they will win outright, even without Vernon Davis.
Pittsburgh (-6.5) over ARIZONA: Pittsburgh is for real. The Cardinals are the Cardinals. They are what we think they are: crappy. A QB controversy and no Anquan Boldin? No thanks. Pittsburgh continues to roll here.
KANSAS CITY (+12) over San Diego: I don't think Kansas City wins this game, but it should be close. I heard a lot about how terrible Norv Turner was when San Diego originally hired him, and now I see why. A team as talented as the Chargers has no business losing to Green Bay, and yet, they lost. They will win this game, but it will be close, and it won't be pretty.
INDIANAPOLIS (-10) over Denver: Last week Denver was exposed as not being that good. They had me fooled. Not anymore. Indy isn't fucking around, and I think they're a little annoyed that everyone has already handed the Vince Lombardi trophy to New England. I think they pound the fuck out of Denver here.
N.Y. GIANTS (+2.5) over Philadelphia: These games are always close, regardless of how bad either team might be. And it's in New York. No result would really surprise me here, and the Eagles are 0-2 when I pick them, so I'm taking the Giants.
New England (-7.5) over CINCINNATI: Cincinnati gave up 51 points to Cleveland. New England is a lot better than Cleveland. Cincinnati will score some points too, but a final score of 58-21 wouldn't shock me here. New England is really, really good. Those fucks. They will win this game, and pretty much every game, handily.
Those are the picks for the week. Enjoy the games.
Last Week: 6-8-2
Season: 16-29-3
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Vast Majority of the World's Current Problems Can Be Blamed on Bud Selig
Now, I know what you're thinking: Bud Selig is a worthless piece of shit, but surely tragedies like Katrina and the Iraq War (yes, at this point our involvement has reached tragic proportions - if you feel otherwise feel free to send your explanation to 3,000+ American families and countless more Iraqis) can't be blamed on Bud, right? WRONG. It's all his fault. Let me break it down for you.
The year was 1992. Biggie and Pac were still alive. The Lions weren't the laughingstock of the NFL. The New Commander-in-Chief was just beginning to realize he could stick his dick anywhere he pleased, including ugly women and fat chicks. And a group of crude, lovable, mullet-sporting drunks were one year away from representing the National League in the World Series. All was right in the world. (Except for the part about the Lions.) And then, things started to go awry, especially for baseball.
It should be noted that, at this time, a certain slack-jawed yokel was running the Texas Rangers (into the ground). It was in 1992 that then-current commissioner Fay Vincent resigned after an 18-9 no confidence vote by the owners, led by Big Bad Bud himself. Shortly thereafter, Selig assumed the role of acting commissioner, a role he kept until 1998, when he was officially made The Commish.
It should also be noted that in 1992, the same aforementioned slack-jawed yokel wanted to be the commissioner of Major League Baseball. But the owners went with Selig instead, eventually leading to G-Dubs running for (and becoming) Governor of Texas in 1994. All Selig did in 1994 was preside over a players strike that began on my 10th birthday and did irreparable damage to my childhood. Fuck you, Bud Selig.
Now, had George W. Bush become the commissioner of baseball, I think he would have done a pretty good job. I don't think he would have let a strike happen and I know he would not have tolerated steroids. I'm pretty sure he had multiple people in Texas executed for farting in church. Do you really think he would have allowed illegal drug use to run rampant throughout America's pastime, culminating in Ed Bighead breaking Hank Aaron's all-time homerun record? Aw hell naw. He would not have stood for that. (And yes, I did just shamelessly self-promote in that link. Deal with it.)
And, not only would baseball be in better shape, but more importantly, someone other than Dick Che- er, George W Bush would be the current president! Everybody wins! Except Dick Cheney. But you know what? Fuck him. And fuck Bud Selig. This is all his fault.
The year was 1992. Biggie and Pac were still alive. The Lions weren't the laughingstock of the NFL. The New Commander-in-Chief was just beginning to realize he could stick his dick anywhere he pleased, including ugly women and fat chicks. And a group of crude, lovable, mullet-sporting drunks were one year away from representing the National League in the World Series. All was right in the world. (Except for the part about the Lions.) And then, things started to go awry, especially for baseball.
It should be noted that, at this time, a certain slack-jawed yokel was running the Texas Rangers (into the ground). It was in 1992 that then-current commissioner Fay Vincent resigned after an 18-9 no confidence vote by the owners, led by Big Bad Bud himself. Shortly thereafter, Selig assumed the role of acting commissioner, a role he kept until 1998, when he was officially made The Commish.
It should also be noted that in 1992, the same aforementioned slack-jawed yokel wanted to be the commissioner of Major League Baseball. But the owners went with Selig instead, eventually leading to G-Dubs running for (and becoming) Governor of Texas in 1994. All Selig did in 1994 was preside over a players strike that began on my 10th birthday and did irreparable damage to my childhood. Fuck you, Bud Selig.
Now, had George W. Bush become the commissioner of baseball, I think he would have done a pretty good job. I don't think he would have let a strike happen and I know he would not have tolerated steroids. I'm pretty sure he had multiple people in Texas executed for farting in church. Do you really think he would have allowed illegal drug use to run rampant throughout America's pastime, culminating in Ed Bighead breaking Hank Aaron's all-time homerun record? Aw hell naw. He would not have stood for that. (And yes, I did just shamelessly self-promote in that link. Deal with it.)
And, not only would baseball be in better shape, but more importantly, someone other than Dick Che- er, George W Bush would be the current president! Everybody wins! Except Dick Cheney. But you know what? Fuck him. And fuck Bud Selig. This is all his fault.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Did You Hear That?
That was roughly 7 million people in the greater Philadelphia area breathing a collective sigh of relief. The throwback unis (seen on Reggie Brown and Correl Buckhalter, right) were ugly, and so was the beating. The Eagles put an absolute whoopin' on the Lions Sunday, winning by a score of 56-21. The Eagles put up 42 in the first half en route to dismantling a Lions team that many people thought might be for real this year. And who knows, maybe they are. But with a defense like that, I wouldn't bet on it. The Lions' two wins have come against Oakland and Minnestoa, two teams with a combined record of 2-4, and those two wins have come against Atlanta and Cleveland, who sport a combined 1-5 record. So yeah, Detroit isn't one of the worst teams in the league, but they sure as hell aren't one of the best.
Now, despite their emphatic, convincing victory, the Eagles weren't perfect, although McNabb was. Literally. His QB rating for the game was the highest possible. He looked good. The secondary, without Dawkins or Lito Sheppard, got lit up for over 400 yards in the air, although to the credit of the defense as a whole, the Lions did not score in the 2nd half. The defense also recorded nine sacks, with Trent Cole leading the way with three.
Kevin Curtis went off for 221 yards and 3 scores. Um, T.O. never did that. Westbrook also racked up 221 total yards (110 rushing, 111 receiving) and 3 scores, despite leaving the game in the 3rd quarter with a rib injury. X-rays were negative.
Correll Buckhalter and rookie Tony Hunt also got in the board with rushing TDs late in the game to complete th biggest ass whooping (in terms of points scored) the Eagles have put on anyone since they trounced the - guess who! - yup, the Lions, in the playoffs in 1996 by a score of 58-37. We should play Detroit more often.
The Eagles ran early and often which allowed McNabb to stretch the field. The offense looked just like it did early last season - good. But hey, the Lions aren't good, at least not on defense.
And, when you consider that the Packers, a team the Eagles really should have beaten, are 3-0 and the Redskins are 2-1, the rest of the season doesn't look too bleak. Of course, if McNabb doesn't play well against the Giants next week, various idiots all over Philadelphia will be calling for his head. After all, the Phillies will have played themselves out of the playoffs by then and there will be nothing to take attention away from the Eagles. What? You say no one has been paying attention to the Phillies anyway? Yeah, you're right. But it's still nice to get that first win out of the way, and the Eagles did it in style. Breathe easy everyone, for at least 7 days.
Friday, September 21, 2007
NFL Picks, Week Three
Well, last week didn't go so well. Maybe I'm not good at this. And then again, maybe I am, and it's just taking a while. The first two weeks have been crazy. Just look at some of the 2-0 teams so far: Green Bay, Detroit, Houston, Washington, San Francisco - not a lot of people saw that coming. Anyway, onto the picks.
Indianapolis (-6) at Houston: No Andre Johnson? Yes problem. When you don't have your best offense player against the best offense in the league, you're going to have trouble staying within 6 points of them. Take the Colts.
San Diego (-5.5) at Green Bay: I'm still not sold on the Packers. Shredding the Giants' defense is no major accomplishment. Still, it's in Green Bay and the Packers have momentum. But San Diego just got buttraped by New England and will be looking to prove they are still an elite NFL team. Take the Chargers.
Minnesota (+3) at Kansas City: The Chiefs are a favorite? Well, it is in Kansas City, a tough place to win. But the Vikings have one of the best run defenses in the league, and the Chiefs sure as hell can't pass. Minnesota will cover in a low scoring, boring game.
Detroit (+6) at Philadelphia: The Eagles are favored by 6 against an offense like Detroit? Have they been watching the Eagles offense play? Yes, Detroit has a terrible defense, but the Eagles offense is not clicking, and Westbrook sprained something. I don't like that. Take the Lions.
Buffalo (+16) at New England: Jesus 16 points is a lot. Jesus the Pats are good. And it's in New England. It's hard to say a 16 point favorite will cover at the pro level, but I think they will. Take the Pats.
Arizona (+8) at Baltimore: I like the Cardinals offense, but the Ravens defense is really good, even without Trevor Pryce. The question is, can Baltimore even score 8 points? I think the Cardinals cover, but lose painfully.
St. Louis (+3.5) at Tampa Bay: I don't think the Bucs are any good, but neither is St. Louis. This is a game that no one should watch, but alas, someone will. The Rams have to win eventually, and Steven Jackson eventually has to have a good game. I think they will here. Take St. Louis.
Jacksonville (+3.5) at Denver: Um, Jacksonville stinks right? Yes. Denver, despite pulling consecutive wins out of its ass, looks decent, if not great. It's in Denver, and Jacksonville sucks. Take Denver, even though Jay Cutler looks shaky.
Miami (+3) at N.Y. Jets: Miami stinks. The Jets, despite their 0-2 record, do not. I think Pennington will play this week, and I'm sorry, I like Chad Pennington. He wins. Sometimes. I think this is one of those times. Take the Jets.
Cincinnati (+3.5) at Seattle: What the fuck happened last week Cincy? 51 points? To the Browns? Ugh. How the fuck did that happen? Seattle never loses at home, but I think this will be close. Cincy covers in a game they lose.
Cleveland (+3) at Oakland: No one wants to watch this game. Not even people in Cleveland or Oakland. I think Oakland is the better team though, and they have to win eventually. Take the Raiders, but for the love of God, don't watch this game.
Carolina (-4) at Atlanta: Only 4? That means all Carolina needs to do to cover is record a safety and a field goal. It think they do more than that. Atlanta is terrible. Really, really terrible. Take the Panthers.
N.Y. Giants (+4) at Washington: This is tough. The Redskins might be for real. The Giants are definitely terrible. But they can score. I'm not sure they win, but I think they will cover. Take the Giants.
Dallas (+3) at Chicago: I hate to admit it, but Dallas looks good. Oh wait, they haven't played a decent team yet. Chicago is a decent team, and it's in Chicago. It will be a good game, but the Bears know how to play defense, which is how you stop Dallas. Take the Bears.
Tennessee (+4.5) at New Orleans: New Orleans is a different team at home. At least they were last year. They're 0-2, but they were road games. Still, I'm not betting against Vince Young when he's playing an 0-2 team. This game should be a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Take the Titans, who will keep it close, if not win outright.
Last Week: 3-13 (Yikes.)
Season: 10-21-1 (Double yikes.)
I will finish above .500. I promise. Enjoy the games.
Indianapolis (-6) at Houston: No Andre Johnson? Yes problem. When you don't have your best offense player against the best offense in the league, you're going to have trouble staying within 6 points of them. Take the Colts.
San Diego (-5.5) at Green Bay: I'm still not sold on the Packers. Shredding the Giants' defense is no major accomplishment. Still, it's in Green Bay and the Packers have momentum. But San Diego just got buttraped by New England and will be looking to prove they are still an elite NFL team. Take the Chargers.
Minnesota (+3) at Kansas City: The Chiefs are a favorite? Well, it is in Kansas City, a tough place to win. But the Vikings have one of the best run defenses in the league, and the Chiefs sure as hell can't pass. Minnesota will cover in a low scoring, boring game.
Detroit (+6) at Philadelphia: The Eagles are favored by 6 against an offense like Detroit? Have they been watching the Eagles offense play? Yes, Detroit has a terrible defense, but the Eagles offense is not clicking, and Westbrook sprained something. I don't like that. Take the Lions.
Buffalo (+16) at New England: Jesus 16 points is a lot. Jesus the Pats are good. And it's in New England. It's hard to say a 16 point favorite will cover at the pro level, but I think they will. Take the Pats.
Arizona (+8) at Baltimore: I like the Cardinals offense, but the Ravens defense is really good, even without Trevor Pryce. The question is, can Baltimore even score 8 points? I think the Cardinals cover, but lose painfully.
St. Louis (+3.5) at Tampa Bay: I don't think the Bucs are any good, but neither is St. Louis. This is a game that no one should watch, but alas, someone will. The Rams have to win eventually, and Steven Jackson eventually has to have a good game. I think they will here. Take St. Louis.
Jacksonville (+3.5) at Denver: Um, Jacksonville stinks right? Yes. Denver, despite pulling consecutive wins out of its ass, looks decent, if not great. It's in Denver, and Jacksonville sucks. Take Denver, even though Jay Cutler looks shaky.
Miami (+3) at N.Y. Jets: Miami stinks. The Jets, despite their 0-2 record, do not. I think Pennington will play this week, and I'm sorry, I like Chad Pennington. He wins. Sometimes. I think this is one of those times. Take the Jets.
Cincinnati (+3.5) at Seattle: What the fuck happened last week Cincy? 51 points? To the Browns? Ugh. How the fuck did that happen? Seattle never loses at home, but I think this will be close. Cincy covers in a game they lose.
Cleveland (+3) at Oakland: No one wants to watch this game. Not even people in Cleveland or Oakland. I think Oakland is the better team though, and they have to win eventually. Take the Raiders, but for the love of God, don't watch this game.
Carolina (-4) at Atlanta: Only 4? That means all Carolina needs to do to cover is record a safety and a field goal. It think they do more than that. Atlanta is terrible. Really, really terrible. Take the Panthers.
N.Y. Giants (+4) at Washington: This is tough. The Redskins might be for real. The Giants are definitely terrible. But they can score. I'm not sure they win, but I think they will cover. Take the Giants.
Dallas (+3) at Chicago: I hate to admit it, but Dallas looks good. Oh wait, they haven't played a decent team yet. Chicago is a decent team, and it's in Chicago. It will be a good game, but the Bears know how to play defense, which is how you stop Dallas. Take the Bears.
Tennessee (+4.5) at New Orleans: New Orleans is a different team at home. At least they were last year. They're 0-2, but they were road games. Still, I'm not betting against Vince Young when he's playing an 0-2 team. This game should be a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Take the Titans, who will keep it close, if not win outright.
Last Week: 3-13 (Yikes.)
Season: 10-21-1 (Double yikes.)
I will finish above .500. I promise. Enjoy the games.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Is It Possible The Eagles Aren't Good?
Yes, it's possible. Is it too early be arriving at that conclusion? Probably. But when judging the Eagles, one has to consider certain truths and myths regarding this season.
Myth: Donovan McNabb isn't the same quarterback he once was. He's holding the Eagles back and he needs to go.
Truth: Look, he isn't 100% yet. They say it takes 2 years to fully recovery from a major knee injury. It's been 10 months. Do I think Kevin Kolb will be a good NFL QB some day? Yes, I honestly do. Is it time, after two weeks, to dismiss the Donovan McNabb era as a failure and give the kid the keys? FUCK NO. Donovan will return to form. I'm not blind - he looked unimpressive against Green Bay and worse against Washington - but he will continue to improve as the season goes on.
Myth: The Eagles' current receiving corps is good enough for a legit playoff run.
Truth: No it isn't. Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown would be great compliments to a great number 1 receiver, but neither of them are good enough to fill that role. There's more than one reason McNabb hasn't looked good. When your receivers get no separation, it's hard to get them the ball. Your throws have to be perfect (or better) every time, and only robots like Peyton Manning can pull that shit off. Why is Andy Reid vehemently opposed to giving McNabb a legit superstar receiver? Well, to his credit, he did try it once. It didn't quite work out in the end. But damn did it work for a little while. McNabb was a different QB with T.O. around. They fed off each other. Even Stallworth, a legit deep threat, made a difference. But no, Randy Moss wasn't worth a 4th round pick. He is, at worst, the 3rd best receiver of all time. He would have made a huge difference, kind of like he's doing in New England. Great QBs need great receivers, and vice versa. McNabb is no exception.
Myth: Donovan McNabb is the best player on the Eagles, so it makes sense to have him passing 60% of the time.
Truth: Brian Westbrook is, and has been for some time, the best offensive Eagle. The Eagles weren't successful after McNabb went down last year because Jeff Garica is God. They were successful because Westbrook became the focus of their offense, something everyone has seemingly realized except for the guys calling plays. GUHHHHHH. Give him the fucking ball. A lot. Please. The Redskins keyed on him all fucking game and he still racked up 162 total yards. He's incredibly good. Why Andy Reid fails to see this, I do not know.
Myth: The offseason adventures of Andy Reid's kids are distracting him and taking away from his ability as a coach.
Truth: Um, this one may be true. Can't say I blame you Andy. I mean, it's at least partially your fault you raised idiots, but anyone who claims that the exploits of the Reid boys wouldn't distract them is lying. Good luck fat man.
Myth: The Eagles' season is over and it's time to start planning for '08.
Truth: It's two games people. Two. The last time they lost their first two games, they finished 12-4. Yes, that team was better than this one, but it's early. And this is the NFC we're talking about. You know who's 2-0 in the NFC right now? Dallas, Washington, Green Bay, Detroit and San Francisco. Would you be shocked to see the Eagles in the playoffs instead of any one of those teams? Didn't think so. Take a deep breath everyone. No need to panic. It's only been two games.
Now, if we lose to the Detroit Fucking Lions next week, then we can start panicking.
Myth: Donovan McNabb isn't the same quarterback he once was. He's holding the Eagles back and he needs to go.
Truth: Look, he isn't 100% yet. They say it takes 2 years to fully recovery from a major knee injury. It's been 10 months. Do I think Kevin Kolb will be a good NFL QB some day? Yes, I honestly do. Is it time, after two weeks, to dismiss the Donovan McNabb era as a failure and give the kid the keys? FUCK NO. Donovan will return to form. I'm not blind - he looked unimpressive against Green Bay and worse against Washington - but he will continue to improve as the season goes on.
Myth: The Eagles' current receiving corps is good enough for a legit playoff run.
Truth: No it isn't. Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown would be great compliments to a great number 1 receiver, but neither of them are good enough to fill that role. There's more than one reason McNabb hasn't looked good. When your receivers get no separation, it's hard to get them the ball. Your throws have to be perfect (or better) every time, and only robots like Peyton Manning can pull that shit off. Why is Andy Reid vehemently opposed to giving McNabb a legit superstar receiver? Well, to his credit, he did try it once. It didn't quite work out in the end. But damn did it work for a little while. McNabb was a different QB with T.O. around. They fed off each other. Even Stallworth, a legit deep threat, made a difference. But no, Randy Moss wasn't worth a 4th round pick. He is, at worst, the 3rd best receiver of all time. He would have made a huge difference, kind of like he's doing in New England. Great QBs need great receivers, and vice versa. McNabb is no exception.
Myth: Donovan McNabb is the best player on the Eagles, so it makes sense to have him passing 60% of the time.
Truth: Brian Westbrook is, and has been for some time, the best offensive Eagle. The Eagles weren't successful after McNabb went down last year because Jeff Garica is God. They were successful because Westbrook became the focus of their offense, something everyone has seemingly realized except for the guys calling plays. GUHHHHHH. Give him the fucking ball. A lot. Please. The Redskins keyed on him all fucking game and he still racked up 162 total yards. He's incredibly good. Why Andy Reid fails to see this, I do not know.
Myth: The offseason adventures of Andy Reid's kids are distracting him and taking away from his ability as a coach.
Truth: Um, this one may be true. Can't say I blame you Andy. I mean, it's at least partially your fault you raised idiots, but anyone who claims that the exploits of the Reid boys wouldn't distract them is lying. Good luck fat man.
Myth: The Eagles' season is over and it's time to start planning for '08.
Truth: It's two games people. Two. The last time they lost their first two games, they finished 12-4. Yes, that team was better than this one, but it's early. And this is the NFC we're talking about. You know who's 2-0 in the NFC right now? Dallas, Washington, Green Bay, Detroit and San Francisco. Would you be shocked to see the Eagles in the playoffs instead of any one of those teams? Didn't think so. Take a deep breath everyone. No need to panic. It's only been two games.
Now, if we lose to the Detroit Fucking Lions next week, then we can start panicking.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Quick NFL Thoughts
Wow, my picks sure weren't good yesterday, at least not against the spread. Good thing nobody reads this. I went 3-12. Yikes. But still, some of it wasn't my fault. Raise your hand if you envisioned Derek Anderson throwing 5 touchdowns en route to Cleveland putting up 51 points on the Browns. Yeah, that's what I thought. Raise your hand if you thought the Bucs were going to mangle the Saints. Uh huh. See? Some of this shit wasn't supposed to happen. Now I'm not trying to make excuses. Even if you exclude those games I'm 3-10. I'm just saying that I'm not giving up on this and plan to be well over .500 by the end of the season.
Oh, and the Phillies swept the Mets again yesterday. Boooorrriiiinnnngggg. Sweep someone else, would ya please boys? We aren't catching the Mets. Don't get me wrong, the three wins were nice, but they have to keep it up on this road trip. And if history is a guide, this season included, they won't. Like I said before, prove me wrong fellas. For once in my life other than 1993, please, prove me wrong.
Oh, and the Phillies swept the Mets again yesterday. Boooorrriiiinnnngggg. Sweep someone else, would ya please boys? We aren't catching the Mets. Don't get me wrong, the three wins were nice, but they have to keep it up on this road trip. And if history is a guide, this season included, they won't. Like I said before, prove me wrong fellas. For once in my life other than 1993, please, prove me wrong.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
NFL Picks, Week Two
Well, after a not so stellar start to the season, I'm back with more picks. Hey, week one is the hardest week. You haven't seen anyone play yet. Last week I was 7-8-1. This week I can guarantee improvement or you money back. (Note: I'm not talking about the money you might lose gambling. The money to which I am referring is what you pay to read this.)
Anyway, onto the games. Within the body of the paragraph, the team I'm picking to cover will be in bold.
Buffalo (+9.5) at Pittsburgh: The Steelers looked very good last week, but they were playing the Browns. (Suicide pool note: when in doubt, pick whoever Cleveland is playing.) The Bills lost a game to the Broncos that they should have won. In the NFC Buffalo is probably a playoff team. But in the AFC, they're still at least a year away. That being said, I don't think Pittsburgh wins by 10. Take Buffalo.
Cincinnati (-6.5) at Cleveland: The Bengals looked pretty good beating Baltimore last week. The score was misleading because Ed Reed returned a punt for a touchdown late in the game. Cleveland is terrible. The Bengals will win easily. Take Cincy.
Indianapolis (-7) at Tennessee: This is a trap game If I ever saw one. Is Indy a much better team? Yes. Would I recommend gambling against Vince Young? Hell no. Am I going to contradict myself and take the Colts anyway? Yep. They don't lose games in September. Hell, they tend not to lose many regular season games at all. You never know what Vince Young is capable of, but the Colts, coming off 10 days of rest, looked very good last week. Take Indy.
Houston (+6.5) at Carolina: I'm not sold on the Texans at all. It's easy to look good when you're playing the Chiefs. Carolina didn't beat the best team in the NFL either, but they put the Rams away easily and looked good doing it. I think the Panthers are going to have a good year, provided of course the defense stays healthy. The Texans might be an 8 win team this year, but this wont be one of them. Go with Carolina.
San Francisco (-3) at St. Louis: This is a tough one. San Francisco wasn't terribly impressive against the Cardinals, who beat themselves. Nothing new there. But St. Louis looked worse, and I've been saying The 49ers are a playoff team since last season ended. For fantasy purposes though, I think both Frank Gore and Steven Jackson bounce back with big days. Go with San Fran.
Green Bay (Pk) at N.Y. Giants: The Hefty Lefty is ready to play, and shit, he can't be worse than Eli, right? The Packers have a decent defense and one of the worst offenses in the league. The Giants have a crappy defense but an offense that has some punch, even if it might be without its "leader" this week. Even if Eli does end up playing, and it looks like he will, I still like the Giants. The aren't to win a ton of games this year, but I think this will be one of them.
Atlanta (+10) at Jacksonville: Maybe the Falcons are going to be as bad as they were Sunday all season. I certainly don't thin they'll win this game. But 10 points to the Jaguars? Please. Their QB is DAVID GARRARD. The only way Jacksonville wins by 10 is if the final score is 10-0, which is possible. Take the Falcons anyway.
New Orleans (-3.5) at Tampa Bay: The Saints received a good ol' buttwhoopin' at the hands of the Colts last week. The Bucs are not as good as the Colts. Nowhere near. I'm not even sure they play the same sport. The Saints will bounce back nicely against Tampa, a team that is banged up already. Take the Saints.
Minnesota (-3) at Detroit: Last week I went against Minny and they burned me. Granted, they were playing against Joey Harrington, but still. That defense looked good. The Lions will score points, but they will turn it over too. Remember, we're talking about the Lions here. Take the Vikings.
Dallas (-3.5) at Miami: Miami proved last week by losing to the Redskins that they are indeed terrible, at least on offense. Dallas proved you can score on them via the air, but Miami's passing game stinks. Take Dallas.
Seattle (-3) at Arizona: It's the Cardinals people. Seattle is good and the Cardinals are the Cardinals. Both teams will score, Seattle will cover. Take the Seahawks, although be wary, Shaun Alexander is nursing a sprained wrist.
N.Y. Jets (+10) at Baltimore: Ten points is a lot, but the Jets are starting an inexperienced QB against a very good defense. And, it's in Baltimore. I still think the Jets will be a decent team, but they're going 0-2. Will the lose by 10? Probably. Take the Ravens.
Oakland (+10) at Denver: I gave the Raiders too much credit last week. They did everything in their power to lose to the Lions, and lo and behold, they did. It's in Denver and the Broncos are pumped after last weeks win. This, despite me not being sold on Jay Cutler, and despite Oakland's decent defense, shouldn't be close. All I know is I'm not picking the Raiders to cover this year until they do. Go with Denver.
Kansas City (+12) at Chicago: Jesus Kansas City is bad. And I mean BAD. Sorry Larry Johnson, but you aren't winning 5 games this year. And you certainly aren't winning this one. Even though I'm not sold on the Bears offense, that defense should put up some points. I like Chicago in this one, despite the big spread.
San Diego (+3.5) at New England: This game is going to go one of two ways: either New England is going to destroy San Diego in the wake of the cheating thing, or the Chargers will beat the Pats in an emotion filled victory to prove the Pats aren't unbeatable this year. The Patriots do have to lose a game this year, right? If they're going to lose one, this is it. I don't think the Chargers are going to win this game though. Take the Pats, but you shouldn't be gambling on this game.
Washington (+7) at Philadelphia: The Eagles will bounce back at home on Monday night. They have to. And Washington is not good. I am sure of this. The Eagles under Reid and McNabb have played historically well in night games, and quite well against the Redskins. Take the Eagles. They should win this by a lot, but hey, I said that last week.
That's it for this weeks picks. Enjoy the games.
Last week: 7-8-1
Season 7-8-1
Oh, and the Phillies just took two in a row from the Mets. I still don't care, because they're going 2-5 against the Cardinals and the Nationals on this road trip. Prove me wrong fellas, prove me wrong.
Anyway, onto the games. Within the body of the paragraph, the team I'm picking to cover will be in bold.
Buffalo (+9.5) at Pittsburgh: The Steelers looked very good last week, but they were playing the Browns. (Suicide pool note: when in doubt, pick whoever Cleveland is playing.) The Bills lost a game to the Broncos that they should have won. In the NFC Buffalo is probably a playoff team. But in the AFC, they're still at least a year away. That being said, I don't think Pittsburgh wins by 10. Take Buffalo.
Cincinnati (-6.5) at Cleveland: The Bengals looked pretty good beating Baltimore last week. The score was misleading because Ed Reed returned a punt for a touchdown late in the game. Cleveland is terrible. The Bengals will win easily. Take Cincy.
Indianapolis (-7) at Tennessee: This is a trap game If I ever saw one. Is Indy a much better team? Yes. Would I recommend gambling against Vince Young? Hell no. Am I going to contradict myself and take the Colts anyway? Yep. They don't lose games in September. Hell, they tend not to lose many regular season games at all. You never know what Vince Young is capable of, but the Colts, coming off 10 days of rest, looked very good last week. Take Indy.
Houston (+6.5) at Carolina: I'm not sold on the Texans at all. It's easy to look good when you're playing the Chiefs. Carolina didn't beat the best team in the NFL either, but they put the Rams away easily and looked good doing it. I think the Panthers are going to have a good year, provided of course the defense stays healthy. The Texans might be an 8 win team this year, but this wont be one of them. Go with Carolina.
San Francisco (-3) at St. Louis: This is a tough one. San Francisco wasn't terribly impressive against the Cardinals, who beat themselves. Nothing new there. But St. Louis looked worse, and I've been saying The 49ers are a playoff team since last season ended. For fantasy purposes though, I think both Frank Gore and Steven Jackson bounce back with big days. Go with San Fran.
Green Bay (Pk) at N.Y. Giants: The Hefty Lefty is ready to play, and shit, he can't be worse than Eli, right? The Packers have a decent defense and one of the worst offenses in the league. The Giants have a crappy defense but an offense that has some punch, even if it might be without its "leader" this week. Even if Eli does end up playing, and it looks like he will, I still like the Giants. The aren't to win a ton of games this year, but I think this will be one of them.
Atlanta (+10) at Jacksonville: Maybe the Falcons are going to be as bad as they were Sunday all season. I certainly don't thin they'll win this game. But 10 points to the Jaguars? Please. Their QB is DAVID GARRARD. The only way Jacksonville wins by 10 is if the final score is 10-0, which is possible. Take the Falcons anyway.
New Orleans (-3.5) at Tampa Bay: The Saints received a good ol' buttwhoopin' at the hands of the Colts last week. The Bucs are not as good as the Colts. Nowhere near. I'm not even sure they play the same sport. The Saints will bounce back nicely against Tampa, a team that is banged up already. Take the Saints.
Minnesota (-3) at Detroit: Last week I went against Minny and they burned me. Granted, they were playing against Joey Harrington, but still. That defense looked good. The Lions will score points, but they will turn it over too. Remember, we're talking about the Lions here. Take the Vikings.
Dallas (-3.5) at Miami: Miami proved last week by losing to the Redskins that they are indeed terrible, at least on offense. Dallas proved you can score on them via the air, but Miami's passing game stinks. Take Dallas.
Seattle (-3) at Arizona: It's the Cardinals people. Seattle is good and the Cardinals are the Cardinals. Both teams will score, Seattle will cover. Take the Seahawks, although be wary, Shaun Alexander is nursing a sprained wrist.
N.Y. Jets (+10) at Baltimore: Ten points is a lot, but the Jets are starting an inexperienced QB against a very good defense. And, it's in Baltimore. I still think the Jets will be a decent team, but they're going 0-2. Will the lose by 10? Probably. Take the Ravens.
Oakland (+10) at Denver: I gave the Raiders too much credit last week. They did everything in their power to lose to the Lions, and lo and behold, they did. It's in Denver and the Broncos are pumped after last weeks win. This, despite me not being sold on Jay Cutler, and despite Oakland's decent defense, shouldn't be close. All I know is I'm not picking the Raiders to cover this year until they do. Go with Denver.
Kansas City (+12) at Chicago: Jesus Kansas City is bad. And I mean BAD. Sorry Larry Johnson, but you aren't winning 5 games this year. And you certainly aren't winning this one. Even though I'm not sold on the Bears offense, that defense should put up some points. I like Chicago in this one, despite the big spread.
San Diego (+3.5) at New England: This game is going to go one of two ways: either New England is going to destroy San Diego in the wake of the cheating thing, or the Chargers will beat the Pats in an emotion filled victory to prove the Pats aren't unbeatable this year. The Patriots do have to lose a game this year, right? If they're going to lose one, this is it. I don't think the Chargers are going to win this game though. Take the Pats, but you shouldn't be gambling on this game.
Washington (+7) at Philadelphia: The Eagles will bounce back at home on Monday night. They have to. And Washington is not good. I am sure of this. The Eagles under Reid and McNabb have played historically well in night games, and quite well against the Redskins. Take the Eagles. They should win this by a lot, but hey, I said that last week.
That's it for this weeks picks. Enjoy the games.
Last week: 7-8-1
Season 7-8-1
Oh, and the Phillies just took two in a row from the Mets. I still don't care, because they're going 2-5 against the Cardinals and the Nationals on this road trip. Prove me wrong fellas, prove me wrong.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Phils Continue To Lose My Interest, Baseball Games
What's that, they won 3 in a row before tonight? Don't care. They got spanked tonight. Season's over. This is just their mid-September push, which comes after their early September swoon and before their late September swoon. They will again miss the playoffs by one game. Yay.
The Eagles brought in Reno Mahe. Whoopee. While I never at any point last year thought, "Damn, I sure am glad Reno Mahe is back there returning kicks!", I also never thought, "Damn, Reno Mahe lost us that game." I guess I'll take it. He may not be very good at returning punts, but at least he knows how it works. The same cannot be said for Greg Lewis or J.R. Reid. Why we didn't move to acquire Allen Rossum, I do not know. Why Westbrook wasn't back there to return that last fatal punt Sunday, I do not know. Still, I expect the Birds to bounce back Monday against the Redskins.
The Eagles brought in Reno Mahe. Whoopee. While I never at any point last year thought, "Damn, I sure am glad Reno Mahe is back there returning kicks!", I also never thought, "Damn, Reno Mahe lost us that game." I guess I'll take it. He may not be very good at returning punts, but at least he knows how it works. The same cannot be said for Greg Lewis or J.R. Reid. Why we didn't move to acquire Allen Rossum, I do not know. Why Westbrook wasn't back there to return that last fatal punt Sunday, I do not know. Still, I expect the Birds to bounce back Monday against the Redskins.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
That Was Pathetic
The Eagles lost a game that no one deserved to win. I guess the Packers deserved to lose it a little less. Their front seven looked quite good, and while their offense was terrible, their return game sure was better than the Eagles'! Ugh. I don't know who the special teams coach for the Eagles is, but he/she/it should be fired. Two muffed punts that shouldn't have even been fielded? Guhhhhhh.
On the plus side, the defense looked pretty good, but the Packers have a crappy offense. A terrible start to the season for sure for the birds, although I expect them to rebound at home Monday night against the Redskins.
Oh, and the Phillies won. Yay.
On the plus side, the defense looked pretty good, but the Packers have a crappy offense. A terrible start to the season for sure for the birds, although I expect them to rebound at home Monday night against the Redskins.
Oh, and the Phillies won. Yay.
Friday, September 7, 2007
NFL Picks, Week One
The Phillies had a much needed day off after the debacle that was that road trip. Ugh... anyway, onto the rest of the NFL picks for week one. So far I haven't been wrong. (1-0 baby, woo!)
(Match ups are in bold in the beginning, as is the team I'm picking in the body of the paragraph.)
Kansas City (+3) at Houston: The Texans are favored in a football game? Really? Wow. It kinda makes sense - Kansas City is a terrible football team, and this game is in Houston. Larry Johnson could run all over this Texans defense, but they'll be stacking the line due to the lack of a Kansas City passing attack. Plus, Herm Edwards is coaching KC, and we all know how he loves to send LJ into 8 man fronts. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think the Texans will cover. Still, this is one of the toughest games to call this week. If you can, avoid wagering on it.
Denver (-3) at Buffalo: The Bills are an okay football team stuck in a good division. Lee Evans is a serious talent. JP Losman might not be awful after all. The defense is decent. And Buffalo is usually a tough place to win on the road, but not in early September. The Broncos are good. Take them, take the points. They will win by more than 3.
Pittsburgh (-5) at Cleveland: Charlie Frye is the starting QB for Cleveland. I don't think I need to say more, but I will anyway. The Browns stink, despite some legitimately talented players. After last years crappy superbowl defense, the Steelers will be playing with a chip on their shoulder. Big Ben is healthy and Fast Willie is, well, fast. The Steelers will win by a lot more than 5. They cover easily.
Tennessee (+6.5) at Jacksonville: This one is intriguing for a couple reasons. First of all, I think Vince Young is quickly becoming on of those QBs you just don't bet against. However, he struggled mightily against Jacksonville last year, and that defense is just as good. Still, the spread seems like too much. I have trouble seeing the Jaguars scoring 6.5 points, let alone winning by that many. They might win the game, but it won't be by a touchdown. Take the Titans, who will cover, if not win outright.
Carolina (+1) at St. Louis: This is a tough one. Which Panthers team are we going to see? the one with the vicious play-making defense and reasonably competent Jake Delhomme, or the one that underachieved last year? The Rams defense sucks, but that offense is quite good. Considering it's in St, Louis, I'm picking the Rams to cover, but I wouldn't bet money on this game.
Philadelphia (-3) at Green Bay: This is the hardest game to be objective about, but let's get a few facts clear, shall we? Fact: Donovan McNabb is back and healthy. Fact: With McNabb and Brian Westbrook, the Eagles will have the 2 best players on the field. Throw in Brian Dawkins and it's the 3 best. Fact: Brett Favre is NOT what he used to be. Fact: It's in Green Bay, but it's still warm. Fact: Al Harris plays for the Packers. Not a good sign. Fact: despite some improvements, especially on defense, the Packers are not a good football team. The Eagles will cover.
Atlanta (+3) at Minnesota: This is another tough one. Forget Mike Vick. People forget that despite his explosiveness, he wasn't a very good QB. Atlanta's strength is running the ball, but unfortunately for them, Minnesota is one of the best teams in football against the run. Now, I would never recommend betting on Joey Harrington, but are you really about to wager some of your hard earned cash on Tavaris Jackson? Didn't think so. Take the Falcons, though this one could go either way. Just remember that like every team in the NFC North not from Chicago, Minnesota stinks.
Miami (+3) at Washington: The Redskins are favored? HAHAHAHAHA. Yo, the Redskins suck, Seriously, they're terrible. Joe Gibbs is a corpse. Jason Campbell will be a good NFL QB some day, but that day is not September 9th, 2007. Miami has a great defense, and I think Trent Green still has something left in the tank. Would it amaze me if the 'Skins won this game? No. But I don't think they will. Take the Dolphins, who will cover, and probably win outright.
New England (-6.5) at NY Jets: This one seems easy at first, but remember a few things: Richard Seymour is hurt. Rodney Harrison, lamentable piece of shit that he is, is suspended. And the Jets are a good football team with a good coach. They could win this game. That being said, I don't think they do. But I do think it will be close. I think the Jets cover, but I'm probably going to regret that decision. They're either going to cover or they're getting blown out. But hey, you shouldn't be betting against Tom Brady anyway.
Tampa Bay (+6) at Seattle: I don't think the Bucs will be as bad as everyone thinks, but they will be bad. Seattle, who always wins at home, will be good. Shaun Alexander is poised to once again do great things. I also think Jeff Garcia will have a good year, but not good enough to cover in week one. Take the Seahawks.
Chicago (+6) at San Diego: A lot of people think Chicago is in for a down year. I'm not one of those people. Are they a better team than San Diego? No. But they play in the NFC North, which is 6 guaranteed wins right there. My initial reaction was that Chicago should never get 6 points with that defense, but then I remembered that Rex Grossman is their QB. Chicago is an 11 win team, but this wont be one of them. Take the Chargers, in a game that turnovers will decide.
Detroit (+2.5) at Oakland: I would love that Detroit offense if it weren't for two things: Jon Kitna is the QB, and they're the Lions. The Lions don't win football games. My only concern is that Oakland's offense simply wont score enough to win this game, but with Kitna chucking up interceptions to one of the leagues best pass defenses, they might not have to. I think Oakland, led by Duante Culpepper and LaMont Jordan, both of whom have something to prove, will cover the spread. Remember, it's the Lions. Take the Raiders for one of their 5 wins this year.
NY Giants (+6) at Dallas: This one is easy. What do you get when you take Tiki Barber away from an already mediocre football team led by SHEli Manning and coached by Tom Coughlin? A terrible fucking football team! Dallas is good. The Giants aren't. It's in Dallas. Take the Cowgirls, they will cover.
Baltimore (+2.5) at Cincinnati (Monday): The Ravens are underdogs? Look, they won't be as good as last year, but I don't believe in the Bengals, who did nothing to improve after a terrible offseason (from a legal standpoint). The Ravens will win this game by at least 3, regardless of how good that Bengal offense is. Take Baltimore.
Arizona (+3) at San Francisco (Monday): This could be a great game. It could also be a stinkfest. I would like the Cardinals this year, but they're the Cardinals. Much like the Lions, they don't really do the whole "winning" thing. I said months ago that I thought the 49ers were a playoff team, long before everyone else got on that bandwagon. Still, a bandwagon that full scares me. But I don't think they're losing to the Cardinals. Take the Niners, but I don't recommend betting on this game.
Well, that's it for my Week One picks. I hope they can help all you degenerate gamblers out there. Enjoy the weekend.
(Match ups are in bold in the beginning, as is the team I'm picking in the body of the paragraph.)
Kansas City (+3) at Houston: The Texans are favored in a football game? Really? Wow. It kinda makes sense - Kansas City is a terrible football team, and this game is in Houston. Larry Johnson could run all over this Texans defense, but they'll be stacking the line due to the lack of a Kansas City passing attack. Plus, Herm Edwards is coaching KC, and we all know how he loves to send LJ into 8 man fronts. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think the Texans will cover. Still, this is one of the toughest games to call this week. If you can, avoid wagering on it.
Denver (-3) at Buffalo: The Bills are an okay football team stuck in a good division. Lee Evans is a serious talent. JP Losman might not be awful after all. The defense is decent. And Buffalo is usually a tough place to win on the road, but not in early September. The Broncos are good. Take them, take the points. They will win by more than 3.
Pittsburgh (-5) at Cleveland: Charlie Frye is the starting QB for Cleveland. I don't think I need to say more, but I will anyway. The Browns stink, despite some legitimately talented players. After last years crappy superbowl defense, the Steelers will be playing with a chip on their shoulder. Big Ben is healthy and Fast Willie is, well, fast. The Steelers will win by a lot more than 5. They cover easily.
Tennessee (+6.5) at Jacksonville: This one is intriguing for a couple reasons. First of all, I think Vince Young is quickly becoming on of those QBs you just don't bet against. However, he struggled mightily against Jacksonville last year, and that defense is just as good. Still, the spread seems like too much. I have trouble seeing the Jaguars scoring 6.5 points, let alone winning by that many. They might win the game, but it won't be by a touchdown. Take the Titans, who will cover, if not win outright.
Carolina (+1) at St. Louis: This is a tough one. Which Panthers team are we going to see? the one with the vicious play-making defense and reasonably competent Jake Delhomme, or the one that underachieved last year? The Rams defense sucks, but that offense is quite good. Considering it's in St, Louis, I'm picking the Rams to cover, but I wouldn't bet money on this game.
Philadelphia (-3) at Green Bay: This is the hardest game to be objective about, but let's get a few facts clear, shall we? Fact: Donovan McNabb is back and healthy. Fact: With McNabb and Brian Westbrook, the Eagles will have the 2 best players on the field. Throw in Brian Dawkins and it's the 3 best. Fact: Brett Favre is NOT what he used to be. Fact: It's in Green Bay, but it's still warm. Fact: Al Harris plays for the Packers. Not a good sign. Fact: despite some improvements, especially on defense, the Packers are not a good football team. The Eagles will cover.
Atlanta (+3) at Minnesota: This is another tough one. Forget Mike Vick. People forget that despite his explosiveness, he wasn't a very good QB. Atlanta's strength is running the ball, but unfortunately for them, Minnesota is one of the best teams in football against the run. Now, I would never recommend betting on Joey Harrington, but are you really about to wager some of your hard earned cash on Tavaris Jackson? Didn't think so. Take the Falcons, though this one could go either way. Just remember that like every team in the NFC North not from Chicago, Minnesota stinks.
Miami (+3) at Washington: The Redskins are favored? HAHAHAHAHA. Yo, the Redskins suck, Seriously, they're terrible. Joe Gibbs is a corpse. Jason Campbell will be a good NFL QB some day, but that day is not September 9th, 2007. Miami has a great defense, and I think Trent Green still has something left in the tank. Would it amaze me if the 'Skins won this game? No. But I don't think they will. Take the Dolphins, who will cover, and probably win outright.
New England (-6.5) at NY Jets: This one seems easy at first, but remember a few things: Richard Seymour is hurt. Rodney Harrison, lamentable piece of shit that he is, is suspended. And the Jets are a good football team with a good coach. They could win this game. That being said, I don't think they do. But I do think it will be close. I think the Jets cover, but I'm probably going to regret that decision. They're either going to cover or they're getting blown out. But hey, you shouldn't be betting against Tom Brady anyway.
Tampa Bay (+6) at Seattle: I don't think the Bucs will be as bad as everyone thinks, but they will be bad. Seattle, who always wins at home, will be good. Shaun Alexander is poised to once again do great things. I also think Jeff Garcia will have a good year, but not good enough to cover in week one. Take the Seahawks.
Chicago (+6) at San Diego: A lot of people think Chicago is in for a down year. I'm not one of those people. Are they a better team than San Diego? No. But they play in the NFC North, which is 6 guaranteed wins right there. My initial reaction was that Chicago should never get 6 points with that defense, but then I remembered that Rex Grossman is their QB. Chicago is an 11 win team, but this wont be one of them. Take the Chargers, in a game that turnovers will decide.
Detroit (+2.5) at Oakland: I would love that Detroit offense if it weren't for two things: Jon Kitna is the QB, and they're the Lions. The Lions don't win football games. My only concern is that Oakland's offense simply wont score enough to win this game, but with Kitna chucking up interceptions to one of the leagues best pass defenses, they might not have to. I think Oakland, led by Duante Culpepper and LaMont Jordan, both of whom have something to prove, will cover the spread. Remember, it's the Lions. Take the Raiders for one of their 5 wins this year.
NY Giants (+6) at Dallas: This one is easy. What do you get when you take Tiki Barber away from an already mediocre football team led by SHEli Manning and coached by Tom Coughlin? A terrible fucking football team! Dallas is good. The Giants aren't. It's in Dallas. Take the Cowgirls, they will cover.
Baltimore (+2.5) at Cincinnati (Monday): The Ravens are underdogs? Look, they won't be as good as last year, but I don't believe in the Bengals, who did nothing to improve after a terrible offseason (from a legal standpoint). The Ravens will win this game by at least 3, regardless of how good that Bengal offense is. Take Baltimore.
Arizona (+3) at San Francisco (Monday): This could be a great game. It could also be a stinkfest. I would like the Cardinals this year, but they're the Cardinals. Much like the Lions, they don't really do the whole "winning" thing. I said months ago that I thought the 49ers were a playoff team, long before everyone else got on that bandwagon. Still, a bandwagon that full scares me. But I don't think they're losing to the Cardinals. Take the Niners, but I don't recommend betting on this game.
Well, that's it for my Week One picks. I hope they can help all you degenerate gamblers out there. Enjoy the weekend.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The Nfl Is Upon Us
And so, I shall begin what will be a season-long process for all you gamblers out there: NFL picks.
Let's start with tomorrow night's game, New Orleans at Indy: Indy is a 6 point favorite. Take the Colts, take points. The Saints are a good team - on offense. The defense is suspect at best and the Colts have the best offense in the league. Also, they tend not to lose regular season games. It will be a good game, but Indy will win by at least 7.
Coming up by Friday: the rest of week one. Enjoy the game tomorrow.
Let's start with tomorrow night's game, New Orleans at Indy: Indy is a 6 point favorite. Take the Colts, take points. The Saints are a good team - on offense. The defense is suspect at best and the Colts have the best offense in the league. Also, they tend not to lose regular season games. It will be a good game, but Indy will win by at least 7.
Coming up by Friday: the rest of week one. Enjoy the game tomorrow.
Phils Pull Out Uber-Necessary Win
Big Boy homered for the 15 time against the Braves in his career and Kyle Lohse pitched well as the Phils topped the Braves to end a 3 game losing streak. A three game losing streak may not seem like much, but at this point in the season, every little detail counts. While every game is not literally a must win, the Phillies have to treat every game as one. They still need 17 wins (which would get them to 90 on the season) to make the playoffs, which will be no easy task. That rotation is still a mess and no one really knows when Cole Hamels will be back.
Meanwhile, football starts in two days. Aw hells yeah. As much as the NFL bothers me, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. It's good to have something to take my mind off the Phillies once their season has officially been crapped away.
Meanwhile, football starts in two days. Aw hells yeah. As much as the NFL bothers me, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. It's good to have something to take my mind off the Phillies once their season has officially been crapped away.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Typical Phillies Behavior.
Sweep a four game series against the best team in the National League, lose 2 out of 3 to the worst NL team. It's so typical I could just puke. They have 26 games left. To make the playoffs, realistically, they need to win 18. Yeah. Right.
Oh, and fuck Adam Eaton in his fat, overpaid ass. He sucks. I mean, going from Cole Hamels to Adam Eaton is like going from getting consistent blow jobs to masturbating; the end result might be the same (a win; climax) but after a while the latter will just leave you frustrated and filled with angst. And you might hurt your wrist. (Punching a wall in anger over a blown 5 run lead; too much tugging.) Ultimately, no one wins. Fuck. Adam Eaton alone is reason enough to show Pat Gillick the door. I can't wait until I win the lottery and buy this team. Then things will change.
Oh, and fuck Adam Eaton in his fat, overpaid ass. He sucks. I mean, going from Cole Hamels to Adam Eaton is like going from getting consistent blow jobs to masturbating; the end result might be the same (a win; climax) but after a while the latter will just leave you frustrated and filled with angst. And you might hurt your wrist. (Punching a wall in anger over a blown 5 run lead; too much tugging.) Ultimately, no one wins. Fuck. Adam Eaton alone is reason enough to show Pat Gillick the door. I can't wait until I win the lottery and buy this team. Then things will change.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
College Football Very Briefly
Penn State spanked Florida International 59-0. Not exactly a major story. Michigan, however, lost, AT HOME, to Appalachian State, 34-32. Ap. State blocked a field goal as time expired after hitting the go-ahead kick with about 30 seconds left to play. All I have to say is, HAHAHAHAHA. Suck it Wolverines.
Also, the Phillies look to stay hot against the Marlins tonight as they go for their 7th straight win. Bad news about Hamels though, as he will miss at least 2 more starts. Me and you God, still not cool.
Also, the Phillies look to stay hot against the Marlins tonight as they go for their 7th straight win. Bad news about Hamels though, as he will miss at least 2 more starts. Me and you God, still not cool.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
