Listen God, we need to talk. This, this just isn't cool. I mean, you've been pretty good to me so far. I can't really complain. But this? This is some fucked up shit man. Cole Hamels on the 15 day DL? During the most important stretch of the season, a 10 game homestand against 3 of the NL's top teams? You know what big guy, fuck you. There, I said it. Kiss my ass you rotten motherfucker.
You pick the one guy on the Phillies even more irreplaceable than Chase Utley and you give Him "elbow tenderness"? Really? Come the fuck on. That's horseshit. I mean, I just got His jersey for fuck's sake. And now the season is over. Me and you God, we ain't cool no more. You've gone too far. I'm converting to Islam. Asshole.
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