Wait, did I just say all of that? Fuck. I didn't mean that I hate gay people literally. Well, I mean, I did mean it, but I didn't mean to take any shit for it, so I'm offering a half-assed apology. Wait, did I just say I was offering my ass? Fuck. That makes me sound gay, doesn't it? Oh god I hope it doesn't. I hate fags, and I don't want to hate myself any more than I already do. Don't they understand that they have no place in professional sports, being in my locker room, staring at my adonis-like point gaurd body? That shit is gay man. Being naked around other dudes is fine, as long as they don't want to fuck you. But if they're gay, well, I don't wanna catch it from them, you know? I hear if they stare at you enough you can catch gay. And once you catch it, you've got it for life. God that would be terrible. I wouldn't be able to make love to my wife, or my girlfriend, or that dude I've been fu- uh oh. You didn't hear that. I didn't mean that. I'm not gay! Am I? Fuck. I hate fags.
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