The Eagles: Solidly Mediocre

Yeah, they won. But it wasn't pretty. The defense played well, the offense, eh, not so much. McNabb just isn't 100%, and the play calling just isn't that good. Is this a playoff team? In the NFC, why not? They will, however, have to finish better than at least one team in the division, and that seems unlikely. They aren't catching Dallas. The Giants are, somehow, 4-2. And the Redskins, well, they are the Redskins. Anything is possible I suppose. But I wouldn't wager on them either way. Anyway, enough about them. My interest is minimal, at best.

The Rockies have now won 20 of their last 21 games. They are one win away from the World Series. Fans are coming out of the woodwork, primarily because the Broncos aren't good (and are on a bye week). I honestly think this team will beat Cleveland in the World Series, because that seems to be how baseball has been working lately. Let's take a look at the last six World Series Champions, shall we?

2006: St. Louis Cardinals. Totally loyal fan base, relatively deserving city, completely undeserving team. They won 83 games. Ugh. The NL Central should be wiped off of the face of the Earth. At least the Rockies won 90 games (including a 1 game playoff) this year.

2005: Chicago White Sox. No problem here, although these fans did get six championships out of Michael Jordan. That helps to ease the pain of not winning a World Series for 87 years.

2004: Boston Red Sox. Look, just because they were the loudest whiners does not mean they were tortured. They got two Patriots Super Bowl victories right before the World Series and one right after it. And there was the whole Larry Bird era. And, while most pre-2004 Sox fans were quite loyal, all of the ones that have sprung up since have made Boston area fans intolerable as a whole. This series wasn't a slap in the face to baseball, but to sports fans in general, it has made our quality of living worse simply because of how it has made all Boston fans.

2003: Florida Marlins. Um, it don't get no worse than this. We were 7 outs away from Cubs-Red Sox and we ended up with Marlins-Yankees. The Marlins also won in 1997 (only their 5th season in the league) only to completely dismantle the team they had put together. (And they beat the Indians! Harbinger of doom, anyone?) The same thing happened in 2003, and as a result, they have no fans whatsoever. A baseball team. In Miami. Without fans. The city is like, 94% Latino!* They love baseball! The Marlins are a disgrace to our national pastime, through no real fault of the players or the fans. But there is no franchise in American sports less deserving of a championship, let alone two. Fuck the Marlins. Yes, I am bitter.

2002: Anaheim Angels. Well, I guess this team has fans. But does Disneyville U.S.A. really deserve a championship sports team? I say no. They never should have renamed this team. What was wrong with the California Angels? It worked wonders for the raisins. Damn, those are some smoov muthafuckas. Also, rally monkeys are gay. Real gay.

2001: Arizona Diamondbacks. Ah, they year that started it all. Look, we're all real glad the Yankees dynasty ended at the hands of someone, but did it have to be a team in it's 4th season? Again, nothing against the players, but for fucks sake, there's a pool in left field. A fucking swimming pool! In a baseball stadium! Honestly, what was the thought process there? "Hey, you know what would make watching a baseball game more enjoyable in person? Swimming!" And I'm supposed to believe this team has real fans? Yeah, right. They don't even deserve to beat the Rockies.

Which brings me back to my original point: The Cleveland Indians, swell bunch of guys that they are, are destined to lose to another NL expansion team. It will probably be the Colorado Rockies, and while I'll be rooting for the Indians, at least I'll be able to take solace in the fact that my city will remain only the second most tortured sports town around. Golly, I sure do love baseball.

*Statistical data unresearched and entirley fabricated.