Did You Know Joe Torre Isn't Coming Back?!?

OMG. I mean, he's Joe Torre. And he isn't coming back to work for a maniacal despot. At a decrease in pay. Can you believe it? Did you even know? Well, if you glanced at ESPN at all in the last 24 hours, you would know. The Worldwide Leader, oblivious to anything that isn't Yankee related, devoted the vast majority of it's news coverage to a saga that not that many people really give a shit about.

Yes, he managed the Yankees. Yes, they failed to win another World Series. Honestly, who cares? He was there for 12 years, they made the playoffs 12 times. The won the World Series 4 times. That's a pretty good track record. And, while the Yankees did offer Torre a one year deal for $5 million with an option for a second year, it was $2.5 million less than he made this year. It was an offer made to avoid slapping him in the face while at the same time... um... slapping him in the face. Speaking of which, have you seen his face? He spent most of his career playing catcher or first base, and I'm pretty sure he never used a glove or even his hands. He just caught the ball with his mug. Yikes.

Anyway, back to the real story. I've always had a lot of respect for Joe Torre, and turning down this deal will only give me more. Good for you, Joe Torre. Now please, get the fuck off my television. You're painful to look at.