Playoff Picks, Round 2

Last week I was 2-2, though I WAS 3-1 against the spread. Whatever. Kickoff is in 2 hours and I need to make this quick.

Seattle at Green Bay: I'm STILL not sold on the Packers, the number 2 seed in the NFC (what a shitty conference!) but the Seahawks are even worse. Shaun Alexander, you can die a slow, painful, embarrassingly homosexual death, a la Vito Spatafore. And Hasselbeck, you can go to hell too. Not because you aren't good, but because I drafted Phillip Rivers instead of you on my fantasy team. Fuck Phillip Rivers. And fuck you for being bald. If you had hair, I probably would have trusted you more and drafted you. Green Bay wins, and the Favre Fellatio continues for at least another week.

Jacksonville at New England: Yeah, the Jags match up well against the Pats, but they didn't look too impressive against the Steelers. If it weren't for a botched holding call on 4th down, we'd be talking about how badly the Steelers would lose tot he Pats. (BADLY.) Anyway, are you really going to take David Garrard against Tom Brady and Bill Belichick at home? I'm not. Pats cruise to the AFC championship.

N.Y. Giants at Dallas: Well, everyone and their mother is picking Eli and his "road warrior" Giants on the road, and not without due cause. The Cowboys haven't looked that good since the Green Bay game. T.O. is banged up (though I think he plays and plays well). Romo's IQ is dropping by association due to his blond love interest. No, not Joe Buck. Her. And the Giants are playing well. Also, this is the third time these teams are meeting this season. They know each other. Either way, it will be close. I hate both of these teams, and nothing would make me happier than a Dallas loss, but I don't think it happens this week. The Cowboys win a thoroughly entertaining game.

San Diego at Indianapolis: Norv Turner and Phillip Rivers against Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning? Ha. Ha ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah. Fucking. Right. This will be the least close of the games this weekend. Indy will win handily. Remember, they DID win 13 of their first 15 games. And yes, one of those 2 losses was to the Chargers, but had Vinatieri made a relatively close field goal with less than 2 minutes left, they would have won. I'm going on the record now and saying I think the Colts win the Super Bowl.

That'll do it for now. Enjoy the games.