Hi Chase. How are you? It's me, Lionel. It's been a while since we last spoke (about 23 years) and I really feel like we need to chat. You see Chase, today you did something I will never forget. Today, with runners on 1st and 2nd and no one out in the 1st inning, you bunted. You bunted, Chase. You. Chase Utley. Studly second baseman. Tremendous hitter. Riding a hot streak. Regularly hits third. You bunted. At that point, I knew the game was over.
Now, don't take this the wrong way Chase, but what the fuck were you thinking?!?!? "Maybe I'll surprise them and get on to load the bases?" Try swinging the fucking bat! You're a very good hitter! What happened? You ended up with a sacrifice bunt and essentially took the bat out of Ryan Howard's massive and powerful hands by opening first base. (He was, not surprisingly, intentionally walked.) You took the bat out of the hands of two of the best hitters in baseball (you and Ryan) and put it into the hands of Jason Werth. Jason Fucking Werth!
Now, why Werth was hitting 5th and not Rowand, or Burrell, I don't know. I never said Charlie Manuel knew what he was doing. But you Chase? I expect better from you. Don't worry, I forgive you, but don't ever do that again.
As for the rest of you Phillies, well, with the exception of the top 2 guys in the order, you all stunk. Werth did make one hell of a catch and Mike "Please don't feed" Zagurski pitched a solid inning of relief. He looks like the closer of the future. He also looks like he could fix the leak in my bathroom. But today was pitiful. Let's hope it's rock bottom and not a harbinger of things to come.
(You bunted? You fucking bunted?!? Jesus man, what were you thinking?!)
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