Clearly Chase Utley Was Holding the Phillies Back

Well, they're 4-0 without him. Iguchi is playing well, and Cole Hamels was as studly as ever tonight, going 8 innings, allowing one run and striking out 8. Obviously I want Utley back as soon as possible, but it appears that the Phillies will be fine without him if the pitching holds up. Yes, thats a very, very big if, but Myers is back (got the save tonight) and they just picked up Kyle Lohse, which I guess was a good trade provided A.) he doesn't suck, and B.) Matt Maloney isn't awesome in two years.

Bad news about Bourn and Victorino both getting hurt. I guess Greg Dobbs will start in right, which is fine if the opposing pitcher isn't a lefty, but this leaves the Phils without a lead off hitter. Iguchi? Your guess is as good as mine. I never I'd say this, but Jason Werth, I miss you.

I'm tired of these injuries, and it isn't just the Phillies. The only team of my lifetime that stayed healthy (and that had any talent) was the '93 Phillies, and they were fucking awesome. Every year it's always something with the Eagles and Phillies (and to a degree, the Sixers and Flyers, the latter being dead to me). Someone, or multiple key players, gets hurt. This year's Phils? Yup. Last year's Eagles? Oh yeah. Every other god damn team I root for? Seems that way. Whatever, I'm whining more than Bill Simmons does about Boston sports, and that's just unacceptable. Especially when the Phillies have won 9 of 10. That being said, if Ryan Howard's leg falls of, I quit.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

Chase Utley is going to miss 6-8 weeks with a broken hand after being hit by a pitch in a game they didn't even win. Utley is optimistic that he will be back sooner than that, but it's a broken bone in his hand. He plays baseball. Hands are important. It will take longer than that for him to be back at 100%.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

If the season wasn't over already, it is now. At least the Eagles play in 5 weeks.

FUCK.

Now THAT Was a Basball Game

It started off just like any other game. Cole Hamels was cruising past the Nationals in front of a sell out crowd and the Phillies offense had done enough to give him a comfortable 4-2 lead. Or so it seemed. Ryan Madson pitched a scoreless 8th. Then, after a couple position changes that brought Abraham Nunez and Michael Bourn into the game, "closer" Antonio Alfonseca came in to pitch the ninth.

While Alfonseca was warming up on the mound announcer Chris Wheeler was explaining that Nunez would hit in the 9th spot in the order due to a double switch, while Alfonseca would hit in the 6 hole. Harry Kallas cut him off, saying "they aren't going to bat Wheels". I chuckled, hoping Harry was right. Oops.

Bat they did, because Alfonseca couldn't get th job done and the Phils entered the 9th trailing 5-4. It was During the top of the 9th that I decided to watch Little Miss Sunshine. (By the way, if you have yet to see this movie, do yourself a favor and watch it. Fantastic film. It's on HBO On Demand right now. Go. Do it. Stop reading this.) Anyway, after watching this fine film, I exit On Demand to the same channel that was on when I turned the movie on - i.e. CSN. Well, to my surprise, the Phillies were still on.

It was the bottom of the 13th. Rollins had apparently hit a triple (his 12th) in the 9th inning and scored on a throwing error on the same play. With two outs. Gotta love playing the Nationals. Anyway, Greg "The Natural" Dobbs led off the bottom of the 13th with a single. Rollins hit into a fielder's choice and then Victorino popped out. With Utley up, Rollins was thrown out trying to steal 2nd. Wonderful.

So anyway, Clay Condrey pitched his third scoreless inning in a row, with Ryan Zimmerman popping out to Ryan Howard for the third out. As Howard caught the ball and the camera was on him, I said out loud "End the game", thinking he was due up first in the bottom half of the inning. Shortly thereafter I realized Utley was up due to the base running faux pas. He drew yet another walk (his 3rd of the game) to give the Phillies a leadoff base runner for the 5th straight extra inning. Wheels pointed this out, saying the Phils had gotten the leadoff man on in the 4 previous innings and failed to score, something he called "hard to do". Um, how fucking long have you been covering the Phillies Wheels? They do that shit all the time. After 125 years of ineptitude, believe me, this stuff comes easily.

Meanwhile, Ryan Howard must have heard me, because he mashed the shit out of a 2-2 fastball sending it into the upper deck in right field, game over. (He's leading the NL in RBIs now, by the way.) During his post game interview, Harry Kallas asked him if he felt as good as he did last year. His response? "I'm getting there." Oh, you aren't there yet? Every pitcher in the National League just went "well shit".

Atta boy Ryan, atta boy.

Remember When the NFL was the League With All the Legal Problems?

Those were a fun 4 days. A referee fixing games and outcomes? In the playoffs? Guhhhhh. David Stern is NOT pleased. Everyone who's anyone keeps saying they're "sad, but not shocked". You know what? I'm fucking shocked. This is the god damn NBA, not some minor league or semi-pro shit. This is a very, very serious offense. And while I don't think it's as bad as what Michael Vick has been accused of, it's pretty darn terrible, especially for the fans who may have been royally screwed.

The happiest man in America over all of this? Roger Goodell. Just when the NFL was taking all the negative publicity, the NBA goes and lets this happen. Of course, it could flip-flop right back when Ookie gets 6 years in prison for animal cruelty, among other offenses.

Also, Ryan Howard is now tied with teammate Chase Utley for the National League lead in RBIs. And he missed a month. What a stud. Imagine what his numbers would be like if he'd been healthy every game he played this year instead of waiting 3 weeks before going on the DL. Charlie Manuel, you're an idiot.

Remember When the NBA was the League With All the Legal Problems?

Ah, those were the days. Trail Blazers kept getting high. Pacers kept fighting civilians. And Allen Iverson kept getting accused of things he didn't (but probably sorta did) do. While some, if not all, of the aforementioned incidents seemed noteworthy at the time, they pale in comparison to the antics of NFL (I believe the "F" stands for "Felony") players over the course of the last year or so.

And I'm not just talking about the Bengals, who racked up 9 arrests during the 2006 season. No, their DUIs, marijuana possessions and resisting arrests were nothing as far as Roger Goodell is concerned.

You see, there's this guy named Jones. And he likes strippers. A LOT. But he also like hanging out with a posse that causes all kinds of ruckuses at these strip clubs. And sometimes, over the course of a ruckus, people get shot. Now, Mr. Jones has yet to be convicted of anything, but he has been arrested and/or questioned for a variety of crimes, almost all of which have been serious offenses.

And then there's this guy Vick. In the past Vick, a notorious pothead during (and probably after) his time at Virginia Tech (a friend of mine from school claims his older brother used to flip Vick an ounce every 2 days) has had a few minor-run ins with the law, but they could have been overlooked. His most recent offense, however, does not fit into the category of things that are overlookable.

His most recent charge, as I'm sure you by now know, is dog fighting. Now, he is, of course, innocent until proven guilty, and I sure as hell don't have any proof. But as I've said before, truth rarely concerns me. Is it possible that Vick had nothing to do with a dog fighting complex on the grounds of a house he owned in Virginia? Absolutely. Is it also possible that Vick is an asshole backwater thug that doesn't seem to understand the concepts of animal cruelty and non-guaranteed money? Yup. If he's truly innocent, fine, let him return to the Falcons and get booed everywhere he goes. He won't mind. And if he's guilty, few men will deserve to go to prison more.

But even I'll admit that "Free Ookie!" merchandise is fucking hilarious.

Celebrating 10,000

Note: This entry also appears over at The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes, because I'm a lazy son of a bitch.

"Celebrating 10,000". That was the slogan of a website riding the coattails of the ineptitude that is the Philadelphia Phillies. While tailgating for the game on Saturday that had the potential to be the Phils' 10,000th loss (it wasn't) guys were going around handing out fliers for a parade after the game. A parade. For a loss. Now don't get me wrong, my drunken self probably would have participated, but still. Is that what we, as Philadelphia sports fans, have stooped to? Parades for losing?

We did, after all, damn near throw a parade for a horse back in 2004, but not even Smarty Jones could come up big when it truly mattered.

We do, after all, root for our former stars after management decides to trade them away for 30 cents on the dollar because we know rooting for our own teams is a lost cause anyway. (Do you have any idea how many Nuggets fans there are in Philly now? Tons.)

And we do, after all, have roughly 12 years worth of high school graduates who either weren't alive or were too young to appreciate the city's last championship (1983).

Now I'm not looking for your sympathy. One of the guys who writes here is a Cleveland fan. If anyone deserves your sympathy, it's him. But I do want to dissect this whole 10,000 loss thing, which has gotten national attention because apparently nothing else is happening in the world of sports.

Here are some of the facts regarding the franchise with the most losses in American professional sports:

-They now have 10,001 losses, putting the roughly 1,200 games under .500.
-They have had 14 100-loss seasons, including 5 in a row at one point.
-They have had 2 100-win seasons.
-They have won 1 World Series, and lost 4.
-They have lost over 1,200 games to the Giants.
-They have existed for 125 years, which is as long or longer than just about any team in any sport.

It's that last one that interests me the most. 125 years is a long, long time. While the Phillies are indeed the first team to 10,000 losses, and while they have indeed been pretty damn bad forever, they took their sweet ass time getting to 10,000. Other teams will get there in less time, I can assure you of that. In fact, I think the Detroit Lions are on pace to reach the same milestone sometime in 2011, an astonishing feat for a team that only plays 16 games a year.

The thing is, as bad as the Phillies have been (especially in my lifetime, during which they have made the playoffs once in 23 years) they aren't the worst team in sports history, much like the media has made them out to be. They have had some great teams and some great players over the years, and don't really deserve all the flak they've been getting recently. I love them to death and I always will, even if they get to 20,000 losses before I'm dead. And I wouldn't trade being a Philly sports fan for being a fan of any other city, because when I finally do see that championship, it's going to be really, really fucking sweet.

But I still think we should have kept the A's.

Baseball's Back! And links.

Thank god. Now I can watch as the Phillies continue crapping their season away. Although I am going to see them on Saturday. Maybe it will be their 10,000th loss, but I doubt it. If they don't lose tomorrow, they aren't losing Saturday with Hamels on the mound. (Vigorously knocks on wood.)

Yesterday there was a great game between Argentina and Mexico. Lionel Messi (if you don't kow him yet, you will) scored a beautiful little goal en route to a 3-nil Argentina victory.

Check it out here. He made something that was very difficult look very easy.

Also, check out his goal against Getafe earlier this year in La Liga. Twas Maradonaesque. Make sure you watch the replay to truly grasp the greatness of this one.

Let's see what's happening around the rest of the blogosphere because I don't feel like actually writing anything:

Coleman at JCMJ ponders life with Barry Bonds, past, present and future.

Run Up The Score adjusts to life in Harrisburg. Good luck with Comcast buddy.

Victor, a friend of mine from college, is learning to deal with his newfound game show fame.

Rupert at The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes gives us Brady Quinn's playlist.

Mike Vick is at it again, with Big Daddy Drew's help, of course.

And last but not least, have you ever looked at Ted Williams' career numbers? Go on, do it. They're incredible. And remember, he gave up 3 years of his prime to go kick some Nazi ass. What a guy.

A Couple Final All-Star Notes

First of all, kudos to both managers for starting the two most deserving pitchers tomorrow night. Both Peavy and Haren will represent the NL and AL, respectively, to start the game, proving yet again, I'm always right. Except when I'm wrong.

Also, Jim Leyland, the man who should be managing the Phillies, absolutely nailed the AL lineup:

1. Ichiro
2. Jeter
3. Ortiz
4. A-Rod
5. Vlad
6. Magglio
7. I-Rod
8. Polanco

I probably would have switched Ortiz and Vlad based solely on performance this year and proximity to the game - Boston is a little farther from San Francisco than Anahiem is - but Papi is the bigger star and still a great hitter.

Tony La Russa, on the other hand, made a lineup that one would expect from a man whose team boasts a spiffy 40-45 record. Here it is:

1. Reyes
2. Bonds
3. Beltran
4. Griffey
5. Wright
6. Fielder
7. Martin
8. Utley

Now let me make this abundantly clear - I am NOT only pissed at this because I am a Phillies fan. I am pissed because I am a baseball fan and this makes no sense. Lets break it down by lineup spot, shall we?

1. Reyes: fine. Makes sense.
2. Bonds: also fine. The game is in San Fran.
3. Beltran: Um, WHAT THE FUCK Tony? The man is hitting .264! .264! Should hit 6th.
4. Griffey Jr.: should be hitting 3rd. Bonds then Griffey? I'm sorry, even I think that's cool.
5. Wright: look, Wright is a very good player, but in this line up, he should hit 7th.
6. Fielder: um, maybe the best power hitter on the team should hit 4th. Just a hunch.
7. Martin: clearly the worst hitting starter, should hit 8th.
8. Utley: Hold on. Wait for it. Wait for it. WHAT?!?! He has the best across the board numbers of anyone on the team. He is clearly one of the top hitters in baseball, not just the NL and hitting him 8th - behind Martin! Martin! - is downright insulting. He should be hitting 5th. Now, this decision will make sense if one and only one thing happens: he plays the whole game. The other two second baseman are Orlando Hudson and Freddy Sanchez, choices that are dubious and absurd, respectively. Hudson, while having a good year, should have been replaced by Jimmy Rollins or even teammate Eric Byrnes. Freddy Sanchez, the lone Pirate, is occupying a spot that teammate Ian Snell deserves. If neither of those guys plays, no one will care. Not even Pittsburgers, or Pittsburgians or Yinzers, or whatever the fuck they call themselves.

So, in short, here is my proposed NL lineup:

1. Reyes
2. Bonds
3. Griffey Jr.
4. Fielder
5. Utley
6. Beltran
7. Wright
8. Martin

Now that is a team that might actually have a chance against the AL lineup. Aw, who am I kidding? They're gonna get killed either way. Final Score: Al 11, NL 6.

Also, Big Boy repeats as Derby winner, hitting an astonishing 743 balls into McCovey Cove. Enjoy the festivities.

Who Should Be Starting Tuesday

We all know who the starters actually are at this point. Now it's time for me to make it clear who should be starting at each position for the AL and NL.

American League:

Catcher: Victor Martinez, Cleveland Indians. .326 BA, 15 HR, 66 RBIs
Ivan Rodriguez will be the actual starter, despite the fact that Martinez is having a far superior year in pretty much every statisitical category.

First Base: Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins. .288, 20, 66.
David Ortiz was voted in as the starter. Papi is a great player having a good year, but he only has 14 home runs. Morneau should start, although this is hardly a major snub. This is why the All Star game should have a DH every year. But I guess that would make too much sense, wouldn't it Bud?

Second Base: Brian Roberts, Baltimore Orioles. 323, 5, 26, 26 SB.
Placido Polanco, the man who should be playing 3rd base for the Phillies, is having a very good season, but Roberts has been better. His OBP is higher and he has scored only 6 fewer runs playing on a much shittier team.

Shortstop: Derek Jeter, New York Yankees. .341, 5, 43.
Can't argue with Jeter, whom the fans also voted to start. But Orlando Cabrera not making the team is just plain wrong. Michael Young? Please.

Third Base: Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees. .348, 28, 80.
Um, the fans got this one right too. A-Rod was the obvious choice.

Outfield: Magglio Ordonez, Detroit Tigers. .370, 13, 69.
That .370 is NOT a typo. 'Nuff said. Fans voted him in.

Outfield: Vlad Guerrero, LA Angels. .329, 14, 75.
Another typically superb year from Vlad. Fans got him.

Outfield: Torii Hunter, Minnesota Twins. .301, 18, 66.
It's hard to argue against the fans' choice, Ichiro, who is hitting .365, but Hunter's power numbers and superb defense make me feel he deserves the spot. He's also a true centerfielder.

Starting Pitcher: Dan Haren, Oakland A's. 10-2, 2.20 ERA, .98 WHIP
If those aren't the numbers of a man who deserves to start for an All Star team, maybe I just don't understand baseball. That being said, it appears Josh Beckett (12-2, 3.44, 1.14) will start. Beckett is having a very good year, but the Red Sox score runs in droves, and Haren, who pitches for a team that is next to last in runs scored, would have at least 12 wins for the Sox at this point.

National League:

Catcher: Russell Martin, LA Dodgers. .300, 9, 55, 16 SB.
Fans got this right. 16 steals from a catcher before the break? He's like a Jason Kendall that can actually hit.

First Base: Prince Fielder, Milwaukee Brewers. .278, 27, 66.
Also the right choice. Pujols has been good as usual, but Fielder would be the NL MVP if the season ended today.

Second Base: Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies. .324, 15, 66. (He also has 33 doubles, just for good measure.)
DUH. Utley is far and away the best second baseman in baseball, not just the NL. Fans got him right too.

Third Base: Miguel Cabrera, Florida Marlins. .321, 17, 58.
The vans voted in David Wright, which comes as no surprise considering there are just a few more Mets fans out there than Marlins fans. But Cabrera has better numbers across the board, with the exception of steals, which aren't that important. The bottom line is, Cabrera is a better player, this year and every year.

Shortstop: Jose Reyes, New York Mets. .310, 4, 34, 43 steals.
Ok, so this Met does deserve to start. Reyes stands out among NL shortstops, despite the wealth of talent the position. Rollins deserves to be on the team though.

Outfield: Barry Bonds, San Franciso Giants. .303, 17, 42, .514 OBP.
That OBP is obscene, even for Bonds. Pitchers still fear him because the man can still hit, by his own merits or otherwise. He deserves to start, and the fans recognized that.

Outfield: Aaron Rowand, Philadelphia Phillies. .309, 11, 43.
Call it blatant homerism if you want, but his average and OBP are both 40 points higher than the fan selected starter Carlos Beltran's. And Beltran only has 4 more home runs, all 4 of which he hit against the Phils last weekend. That fuck. You could argue that Matt Holliday deserves to start over both of them, but he doesn't play centerfield, so I'm sticking with Rowand.

Outfield: Ken Griffey Jr., Cincinnati Reds. .293, 22, 57.
Griffey, one of the feel-good stories of this season, deservedly got voted in by the fans.

Pitcher: Jake Peavy, San Diego Padres. 9-3, 2.19 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, 125 Ks, 119 IP.
This was the hardest decision I had to make, because probable starter Brad Penny is very deserving (10-1, 2.39 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 82Ks, 116.2 IP). The difference for me was strikeouts, of which Peavy has 43 more in only 2.1 more innings pitched. He also has slightly better peripherals, although Penny has indeed been great.

Well, there you have it. The fans got a lot of guys right, but made a few mistakes as well. It happens. Enjoy the break, when absolutely nothing will happen in sports for like 4 days.

Well, That Could Have Been Worse

We could have lost all four games to the Mets. But Kyle Kendrick stepped it up again (he's now 3-0) and the Phils are 5 games back instead of a possible 7. (They also could have taken the division lead with a sweep of the Mets, but things like that don't happen here.) For those for you wondering if I will have a "celebratory" post ready when the Phillies lose their 10,000th game, the answer is yes. Stay tuned.

Also, the Flyers signed some big free agent or something. Whatever. I will not start caring about them again. You hear me Flyers? You're dead to me. Dead!

Also, I realize this blog has slowly turned into a Philly sports blog, and for all three of you reading this who aren't from Philly, I apologize. There will be more general content, I promise. Especially when the NFL starts. God knows any clueless 'tard can write about that league.