Don't Act Like You're Not Impressed

Two days ago the Phoenix Suns played their last game in January, and it was, crazily enough, their first loss of the month as well. And it took a 44 point effort from KG as well as stellar play from the rest of the T-Wolves to do it. The Suns were 15-1 in January. 15 and fucking 1! That's good. And so, as NBA fans across the globe slowly remove their jaws from the floor, I couldn't help but gawk just a little bit longer at how good this team has been.

Now I don't get too many chances to see the Suns play. I'm either always at work (where I can at least see highlights), out drinking, or sleeping off a night of drinking till 3pm, as I did Sunday despite intending to watch the Suns play. Actually, I don't even think I went out Saturday night, but that's beside the point. The point is Steve Nash had 15 assists and NO turnovers. That's incredible. The great John Stockton himself would have been damn proud of that line.

So naturally, the Suns are way ahead of the competition in the NBA right? Um, wrong. If the season ended today, Dallas would be the number 1 seed in the west. So why aren't they getting nearly as much press as Phoenix? Well, Dallas hasn't been ripping off 15 game win streaks. They prefer to just win 9 out of every 10. Less flashy. Phoenix has now had TWO win streaks of 15 games. Incredible. Yet, they have the same number of losses (9) as Dallas. And neither of these teams started well. Dallas lost their first 4, only win their next 12. Then they dropped 3 out of 5, and since then have won 23 of 25. Astounding. Phoenix dropped 6 of their first 9 and has since won 33 of 36. Unbelievable. Rest assured, I will NOT miss these two teams playing each other in the playoffs. It is gonna be awesome. I doubt I will be able to say the same about the actual NBA finals. Oh well. By then baseball will be in full swing anyway.

Mmmm, baseball. Only 59 more days till Opening Day.

Beating a Dead Horse

Well, Barbaro, the most ridiculous "sports" story of 2006, is dead. He was put down earlier today after it was determined that saving him, and his more-valuable-than-gold seed, was not possible. You can't help but feel a little sorry for his owners, and for the horse himself. I mean, he had a life of fucking ahead of him, and they stood to make a lot of money from pimping him out. The stud rights to Smarty Jones sold for $39 million. 39 million dollars! For horse jizz! Wow. Mom and dad got me the wrong pet when I was 9. Thanks for the fucking guinea pig. I always knew you two didn't love me.

Anyway, I was going to continue feeling bad for these people before I realized they owned like 80 horses and Barbaro made them well over $2 million before he got hurt. So to hell with 'em. They don't need my sympathy. Or anyone else's. Horse racing is silly anyway, although it is a nice excuse to get drunk when the weather is nice, not that we need one. I just hope this story can finally be put to rest... What, too soon?

A Couple Notes on Monday

Last night Superma- excuse me, Ryan Howard, was officially presented with his National League MVP award. He deserved it. While you statheads out there could make a legit argument for Pujols, the bottom line is, the Phillies won more games than the eventual World Series champs, ridiculous as it seems. Is Pujols a better baseball player than Ryan Howard? Yup. By a decent margin. Did Ryan Howard have a better year? Yup. He was pitched to approximately 3.5 times after September 1st and he still finished with 58 dingers and 149 RBIs. Those are MVP numbers...

In a column today, Bill Simmons called the Super Bowl "the world's biggest sporting event". Um, that's horseshit Simmons, and you know it. The biggest sporting event in America? Sure. By far. But the world? Um, roughly 5.7 billion people might disagree with you on that one. The World Cup is unquestionably the biggest sporting event in the world, putting all other happenings across the globe on hold for a month while the world's greatest game holds center stage.
Even if you don't like soccer, it is 100% impossible to make the argument that the World Cup is not the biggest sporting event in the world. Now, the Super Bowl certainly comes close to being the biggest day in sports, at least in terms of viewership and ad revenue, but I'm still pretty sure the World Cup final outdoes it. Rougly 80-90 million Americans tune in for the entirety of the Super Bowl - a large number indeed - and to be safe, let's say the total number of earthlings watching the game is 200 million (and this is a generous estimate), this comes nowhere near the amount of people tuned into the World Cup final. More people in Europe alone watched the final game of the World Cup this past year, which featured two European nations, than will watch the Super Bowl next week.

Quite frankly I'm a little surprised Simmons - someone who claims to have watched a great deal of the 2006 World Cup - made such a statement. I'm sure it was innocent enough, but I'm not letting it slide. I love the Super Bowl. I really do. But in my opinion, soccer is the greatest sport in the world. And while many may disagree with that opinion, this much is fact: soccer IS the biggest sport in the world. And that is something (American) football will never be able to claim.

Pugilistic Peliculas

For as long as I can remember, my favorite movie has been Rocky. If I can take one film with me on a desert island (not counting any number of porn films that would rank ahead of it) it would be at the top of my list. Am I a little biased? Sure, I guess so. Rocky is the ultimate Philly movie. It's set there. It's about an underdog. A guy says "a-yo" a lot. Totally Philly. That being said, it's still the best sports movie of all time. Isn't it? Well see, now I'm not so sure. The thing is, I just saw Raging Bull for the first time tonight. And it was unbelievably good.

DeNiro was as good as I have ever seen him. This man earned his Oscar. And so, the question bouncing around in my head, a question I cannot believe I'm asking myself, is - is Raging Bull a better movie than Rocky? It's fucking Rocky! Nothing is better than Rocky! And yet, it might be. Let's think about this for a minute. I'm not going to break the films down element by element for two reasons - 1.) that would take a really long time; and 2.) they aren't very comparable. One is based on the life of a real boxer, the other is something Sylvester Stallone wrote in two weeks about a fictional boxer who gets the oppurtunity of a lifetime.

So, what this really comes down to is, was DeNiro's performance better than Rocky's story? Man, that is tough call. Let's start with Bobby D. - in the beginning of the film, and for the majority of it, he's jacked, something I totally didn't see coming. But he looked like a boxer. He was actually pretty similar to Stallone in Rocky (as opposed to Stallone in Rocky IV - 'roids anyone?). Very convincing. Then, towards the end of the film, as he is playing an older La Motta, he must have gained like 50 lbs. Now that is dedication to a part. And, throughout the entire movie, his acting is, well, DeNiroesque. He's great. Absolutely great. He was Jake La Motta. Also, gotta give Joe Pesci his props as well for basically playing the same role he played in Goodfellas, only it was 10 years earlier and this character was far less homicidal. He was very good as DeNiro's brother/manager.

So the question is, was DeNiro's performance - with a supporting cast ranging from exceedingly competent to exceedingly talented - good enough to topple Rocky's story? In short - no. As good as Raging Bull was, it just wasn't Rocky. It didn't give me the chills like Rocky never fails to do. It wouldn't have had me cheering in the theater. And it didn't have Burt Young.

No, as fanfuckingtastic as Raging Bull is, it isn't Rocky. And nothing ever will be.

Only 63 Days Till Opening Day

Baseball. Fuck yeah. What's that? The Super Bowl is a week away? Well fuck that. Sure, I'm going to get obnoxiously drunk while watching it, and chances are I'm going to grope some things, but I won't actually care about the outcome. As a Philadelphian, my season ended twice.

First it ended when Donovan McNabb, pusher of all things chunky, suffered a seaon ending knee injury. Then Jeff "Wait, T.O. thinks I'm gay?!" Garcia has the nerve to rip off 6 straight wins, including a playoff game against Giants - suck it Kaufman - only to have some fat, mustacioed, overrated sack of giblets posing as a head coach sheepishly punt the season away. Were they probably going to convert 4th and 15? Of course not. But grow a pair and try anyway, the season was on the line. You fat fuck. And no, I'm not bitter.

ANYWAY, back to my original point - with the Eagles' season over, the Sixers playing comically bad basketball, and the Flyers having been dead to me since 2001, the Phils have center stage. Utley signed an extension. Ryan Howard will hit no less than 94 home runs. Brett Myers will only beat his wife in private. It truly is baseball season, and this is our year.

Unless, you know, it isn't. I mean, it's the fucking Phillies.

Woods and Federer to Battle on Mt. Olympus

The winner will be granted immortality. The loser will be fed to Shawne Merriman. But seriously, these guys are pretty good at what they do. Too bad no one (and by "no one" I mean me) actually cares. Golf? Lame. Tennis? Dane Cook lame. So why write about them? Well, it's a week before the Super Bowl, and already everything about the Super Bowl that could be written has been written. That being said, I'll cover it eventually. Just not tonight. Also, speaking about Tiger Woods and Roger Federer covers my obligation to ever cover tennis or golf again considering this is a "sports" blog. I've already hit my quota, and damn, it feels good.