BASEBALLLLLLLLLLL

BASEBALL IS HERE!!!!!!! Thank. Fucking. God. If I had to sit through one more hockey game, I was going to go insane. Nothing against hockey, but I really don't care which team the Flyers will end up losing to in the first round. Ditto for the Sixers. It's baseball season baby. The Nationals just beat the Braves on a Ryan Zimmerman walk off home run. Suck on that, Braves fans! Oh wait, there's no such thing.

And on that note, it's time for my condensed baseball preview in which I make predictions that will make me look stupid in 6 months. Here we go:

NATIONAL LEAGUE:

NL EAST: As much as it pains me to say it, The Mets.
NL CENTRAL: God this division is terrible. Cubbies take it again.
NL WEST: Fuck the Rockies. Arizona will win the division on the strength of their pitching.
NL WILDCARD: The Phillies. But only if Adam Eaton gets hurt.
NL MVP: Chase Utley, Phillies. It's time for the most talented guy on the team to win.
HOME RUN CHAMP: Ryan Howard, Phillies. It's already a two man race between him and Fielder, and I think Prince takes a small step backward this year. Besides, Howard has been killing the ball all spring and he's in great shape. No reason he can't chase 60 again.
BATTING TITLE: Utley. I'm telling you, he's good.
CY YOUNG: You ready for this? I'm going to be bold: Johan Santana, Mets. I know, I know, picking the best pitcher in baseball to win the Cy Young is crazy. But just watch. He's going to do well. And yes, I really, really hope I'm wrong.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: How the fuck should I know?

NLCS: Phillies over Mets in 6.

AMERICAN LEAGUE:

AL EAST: Boston. Yeah, they're still pretty good.
AL CENTRAL: Detroit. But Cleveland will make it closer than some people think. This one is coming down to the wire.
AL WEST: Another terrible division, save for The Angels, who will win it easily.
AL WILDCARD: The Yankees. Sorry Cleveland, but come on, they're the fucking Yankees.
Al MVP: The trendy pick is Miguel Cabrera (Tigers), and I do think he wins one some day. But the smart money is on A-Rod (Yankees), who will probably repeat.
HOME RUN CHAMP: Richie Sexson, Mariners. Haha. Just kidding. I'm gonna be bold again and say A-Rod.
BATTING TITLE: Ichiro, Mariners. Not kidding this time. He's really good.
CY YOUNG: Justin Verlander, Tigers. He's gotten exponentially better in first two seasons, and that trend won't stop. And with that offense, he could easily win 20 if he stays healthy and sane.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Seriously, no one can really predict these things.

ALCS: Tigers over Red Sox in 7.

WORLD SERIES: Same as I predicted last year, Tigers over Phillies, in 6. And yes, I still hope I'm wrong, but only by a little.

Mmmm, baseball. It's here. Thank you Jebus.

Playin' Darts With The Bat

The scene opens like this: it's Friday night, around 3AM, in a relatively crowded after hours bar in downtown Philadelphia. The room is smoke-filled and poorly lit, the kind of place only certain types of individuals inhabit. It's a place for restaurant workers to get a drink (or six) after they get done, though the guy at the door isn't particularly strict when it comes to letting you in. I do happen to work in a bar, but if I quit tomorrow, I could show up 10 years from now and they'd probably still let me in.

There are no windows. There's just a bar, some tables, a juke box, and a crock pot full of hotdogs that you don't go near unless you've had 11 too many. A friend of mine once described it as "Hell's waiting room", and that sounds about right. It's not a place I find myself in often, but sometimes, sometimes last call just isn't late enough. It isn't my fault bars here close at 2.

Anyway, my buddy and I are hanging out in the back, shooting darts at the electric board there that still only costs a quarter to play. My buddy - lets just call him L. Simpson... no that's too obvious, let's call him Lisa S. - is considerably drunker than I am because he'd been drinking all night whereas I had been working. I'm beating him pretty badly, when this man approaches us:

He looks at the score and says, "This is a slaughter!", and his face lets me know that he wants the game to end so he can play. I stop to look at him, and sure enough, he looks pretty damn familiar. His identity comes to me pretty quickly and I say, "You're Pat Burrell." He says yeah, and shakes my hand as I introduce myself. He then turns to the three girls he is with and says, "These are my girlfriends." It took a lot of restraint not to utter, "Oh? Do they know you're wife?", but he's a pretty big guy and has been know to have a few anger management issues. Besides, it's ultimately none of my business.

Anyway, these "girlfriends" were all very nice, very attractive, and all quite overdressed. It was pretty clear that Pat had met them earlier at a much nicer bar and convinced them to come to an after hours place he knew about. It was also clear that Pat neglected to mention the fact that the aforementioned bar was full of chain-smoking, tattoo-covered degenerates who only get dressed up when some dies or gets married, because the girls left within 10 minutes of arriving.

As the girls are leaving and Burrell is making one last attempt to convince them to stay, I set up the next game of darts and Pat's friend, a guy named Brian, introduces himself. I have no idea who this guy was, but he sure wasn't a ball player. As the game starts, I ask Burrell - who was drinking Miller Lite, for those who may be interested - "How was spring training?". He replies "I don't remember", and shoots his darts. (NOT a good sign.) After about two rounds, Burrell and Brian arrive at the conclusion that shooting darts at 3 AM with a couple of random guys - one of whom thinks Burrell is Matt Williams; more on this in a minute - is not the best way to further their evening. Burrell says to me, "Alright, we're gettin' out of here." I shake his hand again and tell him to have a good season. He thanks me, as though I was saying that because I care about him. He shakes a few more hands on his way out and disappears into the Philly night, his destination a mystery, though I'd be willing to bet he wasn't heading home yet.

And as he left, I couldn't help but laugh. After all, I had heard the stories, but I had yet to see him in action for myself. Now I have. And while he was pretty well behaved in the bar, the fact that he was even there lets me know that his inner party animal isn't dead yet. I don't know if that's a good thing.

Before I go, allow me to explain why my buddy, who is from the Bay Area in Cali and hasn't paid much attention to sports over the past few years, thought Burrell was indeed some other ball player. After Burrell left, my buddy, who was several sheets to the wind, turns to me and this exchange followed:

My Friend: That guy plays 3rd, right?
Me: He did in the minors. He plays left field now.
My Friend: No, but didn't he play third for the Diamondbacks?
Me: Um, no man. The Phillies drafted him.
My Friend: Then who am I thinking of?
Me: (racking my brain for Phillies that played for the Diamondbacks and could be mistaken for Pat Burrell, or vice versa) Um, Travis Lee?
My Friend: No...
Me: (racking my brain for Diamondback third baseman, and taking into account the fact that my buddy is a Giants fan) Are you thinking of Matt Williams?
My Friend: Yes!
Me: You're an idiot.

And that was that. The Bat was gone as quickly as he had arrived, destined to have no real recollection of me or my drunk friend. But that's okay. I'll remember him. I just hope his wife isn't reading this.

Chase's Turn?

I say yes. He is, after all, the most talented Phillie. This video is from ESPN. There's some interesting insight from Chase, Jimmy and Shane.

How 'Bout Them Wildcats?

Raise your hand if you thought Villanova was going to make the NCAA tournament 8 days ago. (A few hands go up.) Okay, now raise your hand if you thought they would be in the Sweet 16 after the first weekend. (All hands go down.) Yeah, that's what I thought. But, sure enough, after routing Siena in the second round (take that Albany!), 'Nova has advanced to play Kansas next week, confirming what most people thought before the season started - that Villanova was the best college team in Philly.

When 'Nova is on, they can beat anyone in the country. And they are really going to have to be on to beat the Jayhawks. Either way, it's been a pretty sweet ride thus far. Go Cats. And go Butler, who is currently down by four to Tennessee at halftime.

UPDATE: Butler has bowed out in overtime against Tennessee, the final score being 76-71. Mike Green had 15 points, 5 assists and 7 rebounds, but was a not-so-great 4-17 from the field, and 6-10 from the line. Still, a valiant effort all around, and hopefully Mike will find himself on an NBA roster come October.

March Madness. Gotta love it.

The Official Allen Iverson Post

I love Allen Iverson.

And I'm not ashamed to admit it. No, he isn't perfect, but loving a perfect person is easy. It's finding a way to love the flaws that's the hard part. And oh, he is flawed. There is no doubt about that. But he deserved the standing ovation he got when his name was announced, and anyone who really thought the Philadelphia fans for whom he played his heart out every night for 11 years would boo him obviously knows nothing about Philly sports fans.

Are we loud? Yes. Obnoxious? Quite. Hard to please? Sure. But do we appreciate effort? Oh yes. If you play your heart out, we will love you, even if you aren't that good. (Although it really helps if you're good.) And Allen Iverson was good. (He still is, to be fair.) He was, with apologies to Donovan McNabb, Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard, the best Philadelphia athlete of my lifetime. And unless one of those guys wins a championship, that probably isn't going to change.

And yes, I'm fully aware Iverson did not win a championship here, but he put up better numbers than all of those guys. Even Utley. He's a first ballot hall of famer who played his heart out every minute of every game. (He is 4th all time in minutes per game average, at just over 40 per.) He is undersized, making him a natural underdog in a sport dominated by the freakishly tall. While he was by no means perfect, he was the perfect type of athlete for Philly: gritty, stubborn, hard working, and yes, occasionally gun toting.

When he was traded, we mourned as a city. Even those who did not like him here (and his detractors certainly exist) could not ignore what he meant to this city. He was Philadelphia, for better, and indeed for worse. And now he's gone. But Wednesday night we had him one more time, even if his uniform looked a little different. And even if he was playing for a different team, it just felt... right. He led all scorers, something he has done a few times before in that building. And even though the Sixers won, that was hardly in the forefront of anyone's mind.

One could argue that the Sixers (34-34) are a better team without Iverson, and one would probably be right, but they aren't better because he is gone. They would not be worse if you added him to their current roster. They may play more like a team now than they did when he was here, but that is because Andre Miller is one of the best point guards in the NBA, not because Iverson is a bad teammate or a selfish player. The best point guard Iverson ever played with was Eric Snow. Ask LeBron James how much he like playing with Eric.

The thing is, Iverson IS a team player. He has averaged close to 7 assists a game for his entire career. And that number would be higher if he ever played with guys who could shoot. You had to watch a lot of Sixers games to truly appreciate just how bad Iverson's supporting cast was for the majority of his tenure in Philly. He shot 30 times a game because that was the only way the Sixers were going to win. If you want proof that Iverson is capable of excelling when his teammates are talented, one needs to look no further than any of his all star game appearances. (Or, you could just look at the Nuggets.) He doesn't want to take every shot. He just wants to win.

And thats why I, and the majority f Philadephians, love Allen Iverson.

And we always will.

168 Is A Big Number

The Nuggets dropped 168 points on the Sonics Sunday night. In regulation. That is not a misprint. One hundred and sixty eight. As Kang (or maybe it was Kodos) would say, Holy Fluerking Schnit. The Nuggets shot 60% from the field (61-101), including 51% (16-31) from beyond the arc.

Marcus Camby had a triple double, notching 13 points, 15 rebounds and 10 assists. He also chipped in 4 blocks for good measure. You know you aren't having a good night when Marcus Camby drops 10 dimes on you. The 168 points were the third highest regulation output of all time. Video highlights and recap can be found here.

Looks Like There Will Be A Philly Team At The Big Dance After All

Ah, college basketball. I'm essentially indifferent towards you - until March. Then I care quite a bit. This of course does not make me different than quite a few Americans, especially those from Philadelphia. The great thing about growing up here is that you can root for any one of six different teams (LaSalle, Temple, St. Joes, Villanova, Drexel and Penn) come tourney time, provided none of them are your alma mater. And even then, you can root for another one of them to succeed. (The downside of having these six teams is that they all fight for local talent and therefore, with a few rare exceptions, none of them are ever that good.)

At least one of them, however, is always pretty good. There hadn't been a year in my lifetime where one Philly team didn't make it to the NCAAs. This year, however, was shaping up to be that year. (The last time it happened was 30 years ago.) Nova is too young. Ditto for LaSalle. Penn somehow didn't win the Ivy League. Drexel was Drexel. And St. Joes and Temple were both decent teams peaking at the right time, but it seemed like too little too late. Until last night.

St. Joes(#5 seed) upset Xavier(#1) for the second time in two weeks in one A10 conference semi final, and Temple (#2) cruised past Charlotte(#6) in the other. Considering the one of these teams has to win the A10, and therefore will secure an automatic bid in the tourney, the streak of Philly appearances will live on. (It's also possible at this point that both of these teams will make it, with the loser gaining an at large bid.)

So there you go. The game is tonight, and I couldn't care less who wins. (Temple probably will.) Now I've got a rooting interest in the tournament, even if it will almost definitely be over by the end of the first round. After that, at least I"ll still (hopefully) have Butler.

Adam Eaton, Sixers, Still Not That Good

Not that either of those statements should come as a surprise. The Sixers don't have a winning record despite their recent string of success, and Eaton doesn't have any talent, despite his large contract.

The Sixers got pounded by a much better team last night (the Celtics), allowing Boston to score the first 15 points of the game. (NOT a good way to begin.) And Eaton, who had his back injury, the one that had supposedly been lingering since last season, checked out, only to have it revealed that the injury was minor and did not require treatment, has been terrible all spring.

The fact that his injury requires no real treatment, of course, makes me wonder why the fuck he has been so terrible. Is he just of of shape? (Probably.) Is he just untalented? (Yeah.) Is he a monumental shithead who should donate 95% of his salary to Hamels? (Mmhmm.) So why the fuck was he ever signed? (Phillies management is, for the most part, incompetent.) Ugh. March Madness needs to hurry up and get here so I don't have to worry about baseball until April.

Who am I kidding? I'm not gonna stop thinking about baseball. It's only 20 days away.

Ronaldinho Is Good At Soccer

Really, really fucking good. It's like he's not even trying. Bicycle kick? Don't mind if I do! I don't care if you don't like soccer. If you can't appreciate this, you're worthless as a sports fan.

Jose Canseco Is At It Again.

Oh man, this is funny. Good ol' Jose. He really knows how to entertain.

The Eagles Signed Asante Samuel?

Really? Hmm. I guess that means Lito Sheppard is on his way out. That, or the Eagles are planning on having the best nickelback in the league. If they trade Lito, here's hoping it's for a top of the line receiver. No offense, Mr. Curtis.

Just like the Eagles to try and steal some of the Phillies' thunder. While I'm pleased with the signing, it can't change the fact that baseball is coming.

Only 30 days till Opening Day.