BASEBALLLLLLLLLLL

BASEBALL IS HERE!!!!!!! Thank. Fucking. God. If I had to sit through one more hockey game, I was going to go insane. Nothing against hockey, but I really don't care which team the Flyers will end up losing to in the first round. Ditto for the Sixers. It's baseball season baby. The Nationals just beat the Braves on a Ryan Zimmerman walk off home run. Suck on that, Braves fans! Oh wait, there's no such thing.

And on that note, it's time for my condensed baseball preview in which I make predictions that will make me look stupid in 6 months. Here we go:

NATIONAL LEAGUE:

NL EAST: As much as it pains me to say it, The Mets.
NL CENTRAL: God this division is terrible. Cubbies take it again.
NL WEST: Fuck the Rockies. Arizona will win the division on the strength of their pitching.
NL WILDCARD: The Phillies. But only if Adam Eaton gets hurt.
NL MVP: Chase Utley, Phillies. It's time for the most talented guy on the team to win.
HOME RUN CHAMP: Ryan Howard, Phillies. It's already a two man race between him and Fielder, and I think Prince takes a small step backward this year. Besides, Howard has been killing the ball all spring and he's in great shape. No reason he can't chase 60 again.
BATTING TITLE: Utley. I'm telling you, he's good.
CY YOUNG: You ready for this? I'm going to be bold: Johan Santana, Mets. I know, I know, picking the best pitcher in baseball to win the Cy Young is crazy. But just watch. He's going to do well. And yes, I really, really hope I'm wrong.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: How the fuck should I know?

NLCS: Phillies over Mets in 6.

AMERICAN LEAGUE:

AL EAST: Boston. Yeah, they're still pretty good.
AL CENTRAL: Detroit. But Cleveland will make it closer than some people think. This one is coming down to the wire.
AL WEST: Another terrible division, save for The Angels, who will win it easily.
AL WILDCARD: The Yankees. Sorry Cleveland, but come on, they're the fucking Yankees.
Al MVP: The trendy pick is Miguel Cabrera (Tigers), and I do think he wins one some day. But the smart money is on A-Rod (Yankees), who will probably repeat.
HOME RUN CHAMP: Richie Sexson, Mariners. Haha. Just kidding. I'm gonna be bold again and say A-Rod.
BATTING TITLE: Ichiro, Mariners. Not kidding this time. He's really good.
CY YOUNG: Justin Verlander, Tigers. He's gotten exponentially better in first two seasons, and that trend won't stop. And with that offense, he could easily win 20 if he stays healthy and sane.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Seriously, no one can really predict these things.

ALCS: Tigers over Red Sox in 7.

WORLD SERIES: Same as I predicted last year, Tigers over Phillies, in 6. And yes, I still hope I'm wrong, but only by a little.

Mmmm, baseball. It's here. Thank you Jebus.